


Saving Your Smile

by ennirecnirp0518



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Reality, Angst, Anxiety, Blood Loss, Brotherly Love, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Gen, Gore, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Other, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Smut, Thriller, Trauma, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:14:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26917189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ennirecnirp0518/pseuds/ennirecnirp0518
Summary: Rinne found himself was saved again and again by Hiiro and everyone around him.
Relationships: Amagi Hiiro & Amagi Rinne, Amagi Hiiro/Amagi Rinne, Amagi Rinne/HiMERU, Amagi Rinne/Morisawa Chiaki, Amagi Rinne/Oukawa Kohaku, Amagi Rinne/Shiina Niki, Amagi Rinne/Tenshouin Eichi, Hibiki Wataru/Tenshouin Eichi, Mikejima Madara/Oukawa Kohaku
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	1. Haunting Starry Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Erin is here!
> 
> I imagined this as continuation from the last chapter of !! main story, "Smile"  
> I added something here and there in the chapter scene so it must be different with the original or from your perspective :)  
> Also this is my first time writing a fic so have mercy on me, please  
> Rinne is my baby, this is just how I show my love for him :3  
> Kudos are always appreciated and I'm fine any with comment!  
> This fic will have more than 3 chapters, I guess  
> I will gradually update everything including tags 
> 
> Don't forget to check the warnings!!!  
> Don't read if you have problems with that
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
>   
> -Erin

ALKALOID and Crazy:B performing on stage, with Hiiro and Rinne talked a little. Rinne stared at his little brother who was still talking, thinking low of himself again. He didn’t like it when he called himself stupid or saying can’t think by himself. He actually could. He just lacked of confidence some of the time, thinking whether something was the ‘right’ thing to do or not. So right here, right now, in front of people who loved him, in front of people who probably loved Rinne too, Rinne, as an older brother, wanted to make him realised that he already did great.

“That’s right. Then _nii-chan_ will give you a hint, like when we were kids,” Rinne said that and he jumped, striking a pose.

“You’re about to be an idol” said him when he landed with bright smile on his face, looking at Hiiro.

The crowd yelled so loud, making so much noise because of Rinne’s sudden action.

“As expected, we are brothers, that kind of thing is similar. I also wanted to be _that_ all this time,” he said to Hiiro who looked at him with starry eyes.

Hiiro, mesmerized by his _nii-san_ ’s happy smile and unexpected act, got more excited. He was also so proud of his _nii-san_ because he could get up again after what happened prior to tonight’s MDM. He loved him, always. But he just didn’t understand love, not knowing much about it. His need to learn more about feelings was equal to his need to learn more about the world of idol, the world that can make his _nii-san_ happy, and surprisingly him too.

(As always, Nii-san is cool. This is the Nii-san I know. I always look up to you, Nii-san), he said to himself.

Then he jumped too with his style and said “I know, because I’m Nii-san’s little brother,” while smiling.

He continued dancing and singing with Rinne, smiled happily together. No one could stop them from shining brightly with their own colours.

Hiiro knew he would interrupt the moment but he thought he had to ask one more thing. He was still unsure about a thing. He said what inside his head after all. He was just that type of person.

“But, can I really be an idol? I still don’t know what an idol is?” he added.

Rinne smiled again and said, “Yup. See, you’re smiling. When I see you smile, I’ve always smiled for some reason. If you could make someone smile, what would that be if it’s not an idol?” said him with brighter smile this time.

Couldn’t hold his feelings, Rinne ruffled his little brother’s fluffy hair. Hiiro blushed. He was so happy that he learnt something new about idol.

“Um, that’s great. It’s harder to make people smile than to destroy them, but I think it’s more meaningful and valuable. That’s why I smile, Nii-san! Not destroy it. I sing, dance, and smile! And I hope people who can see it can also smile even just a little bit!” he said to Rinne and the crowd in front of him and gave his brightest smile again.

“If you call someone who does that kind of thing an idol, then I want to be the same with Nii-san! I want to be _that_! I want to be an idol! Now I only know that! I will think about all the difficult things later, after this stage is over!” Hiiro said that while doing his next moves with much more confidence, smiling to the crowd.

Hiiro felt something. He thought that this was the best time of his life. He declared something in front of his _nii-san_. He decided something for himself, like what his _nii-san_ always wanted him to do.

With one hand, Rinne embraced him. The crowd was screaming even more, showing some more support seeing these shining brothers. Hiiro was once again so happy. He got a new dream. He no longer wanted to destroy idols. Now he became one, like his _nii-san_.

Rinne was also proud of his little brother. He felt happy that Hiiro was sure about what he wanted to do. Even though he surprised that he would love this kind of thing too, being an idol, like him.

(Haha. My cute little bro. Always full of surprises), he said to himself.

Ideas popped up inside his head. He got some visions of what he wanted to do with him after this. He thought he wanted to write a song immediately. He was so excited even more, but he realised that he had to focus on this moment first, tonight’s MDM. He was about to do his last moves. He definitely would make tonight the night that they could not forget. And he would do it with Crazy:B and ALKALOID, together.

The other Crazy:B members and ALKALOID followed them to be in the middle, to join their leaders.

“The night is still young!” Rinne said.

Hiiro laughed, he thought he still got something to say to Rinne.

”Nii-san, thank you. I will keep doing my best and learn from you. I want to learn more about this world, this idol world that brought me to meet you again after all these years,” said Hiiro as he smiled again to Rinne.

Rinne was the one blushing this time. “You.. I’m embarrassed now. But _aa._ Let’s do the best together! I will also learn a lot again, like I did before.” he said to Hiiro.

After that they were with their units and did their last dance and sing the last part. Overwhelming happiness showed on Hiiro’s face.

(This is the best. I don’t want to trade anything with this moment. I’m so happy to be with _nii-san_ and I see he is back to being himself again, the _nii-san_ I know. And I have made a lot of friends now. ALKALOID, ES idols.. Forgive me Otou-san _,_ Okaa-san _._ I think we will stay here a little bit longer), he talked to himself.

Eight of them together did their last moves. The stage got 3 parts: right, centre, and left. They were all on the centre stage, with Rinne and Hiiro were in the middle as leaders. With that, they just finished performing together, successfully did their first collaboration. They waved hands to their fans and smiled their brightest. The audience was so happy they yelled even louder, impressed by their outstanding performances. Some of them were cheering for ALKALOID and some for Crazy:B.

Rinne felt like he wanted to cry, but he managed to hold back.

(Amazing. I always love this sight. This is really nice. This feeling… Thank you, Kami-sama. Thank you, Hiiro. Everyone..), he said inside his head.

After taking some breath, Rinne and Hiiro were done being in the middle. They were splitting up so they could greet them fairly from every side. Rinne ran to the left side of the stage and Hiiro walked to the right. Niki went to the right too, following Hiiro. Kohaku, HiMERU, Aira, and Mayoi stayed in the centre. Tatsumi headed to the left stage, following Rinne. He walked slowly he was still far from Rinne.

Rinne was lively but he felt more energized. Surprisingly he heard a bunch of people yelling “Amagi! Amagi! Amagi!” and he laughed a lot because of that. “Haha. Really, you guys awesome! Thanks!” said Rinne as he waved his hands toward them.

He looked at Crazy:B members and said, “By the way Niki, Merumeru, Kohaku-chan, I guess we owe something to say to our party bees who take their time to see us here, and to all fellow ES idols, too. Ya guys ready? Let’s get serious for a moment and give them our best gratitude.” Rinne said and he took a deep breath.

He wanted to say thanks to them for all the acceptance and support. He would not be able to keep being here if it was not because of them.

After that he let his breath out slowly, closed his eyes, opened them again, and then said, “We are sorry.. for everything. I.. mostly, deeply sorry.. Thanks a lot..”

And with that, they all lowered their heads together, slightly smiling.

ALKALOID saluted Crazy:B so Hiiro led them to take a bow too.

The air changed on stage but fans got much more appreciated. They clapped their hands even more while still waving their lightsticks, and yelled so loudly to show their feelings. 

All of a sudden, a man from the audiences on the left side of the downstage jumped up to the left side of the stage where Rinne and Tatsumi were, but more to Rinne’s side. His move was fast and his eyes locked on to Rinne. Like the others, he got a lightstick and currently it shined Crazy:B’s colour.

Rinne was close with him but he was unaware of him because he just bowed and was about to look at Hiiro who was on the right stage. He wanted to start a quick conversation before ending the live.

The man got so close to Rinne now and he waved the lightstick on his right hand. He didn’t wave it in the air like usual fans but he waved under his body, near his legs, as if it wasn’t an act to show support, but to something else. Only a few people from the crowd realised him and yelled to Rinne. With so much yelling and noises it wasn’t easy to differentiate so Rinne didn’t notice.

Rinne tried to focus looking at Hiiro even more as he thought what best to say to end the live. He honestly felt tired and wanted to end the show as soon as possible. He didn’t get much rest lately. He tried to sleep but failed many time, with nightmare and overthinking were the caused. He needed his rest. He would like to get some rest on the way to his hometown with Niki but then the kidnapping by Ryuseitai happened so here they were, still on stage. Aside from that, Rinne was glad he could give his best and he could breathe nicely and freshly starting tonight.

(At least I’ve given my best. Wow they are still yelling so loudly, great energy! But sorry we have to end the live soon, guys), he thought.

The man ran fast.

“I won’t forgive you, Amagi Rinne! You killed my lovely daughter! I won’t forgive you for being alive!” mumbling the man while coming to Rinne’s left side. His eyes filled with anger, mind was full with resentment. 

In a split second, something came out from inside his lightstick and it changed to become a knife, one sharp curved butcher knife. The blade length was about 21 cm and got 2 cm thick. The handle was black and about 8 cm long. With lightning speed the man abruptly stabbed Rinne’s middle body using the knife he gripped with both of his hands.

Rinne noticed the attack a second before but it all happened too fast. He got fast reflex since he mastered in martial arts, but this particular time was just not his lucky time. His tired body and mind couldn’t lie. He supposed to dodge the attack but he just managed to grab the man’s hands and held them tight with his hands. The knife had got inside of his body. Blood slightly dripped down. He kept holding the man’s hands with all power he got. He thought about what move he should do next. Then he got it. He wanted to prevent the man from piercing him even more. It pierced him deep already, though, as he could feel his insides were burning through the back of his body.

“Urghh. _Nande_?! Damn ya got me,” Rinne said with deep voice, pain started creeping up his throat.


	2. The One Who Deserved

Rinne swallowed the blood that was about to come from his throat. He tried his best to comprehend what just happened to him. He wondered about the motives behind this man’s cruel action. He stared at him blankly for a second while guessing that the man was probably around his father’s age. He also noticed that the man was reeked alcohol. All of those aside, he needed to put the thoughts for later. Now he had to keep holding the man’s hands as his focus. Otherwise he could be in more danger because there were possibilities to what might happen: the man would stab him deeper, or pulled out the knife to try to hit him even more, or harmed another people. He wouldn’t want to see any of that so he had to keep holding him or force him to let his hands off the knife.

Rinne and the man currently used all their strength against each other. Judging from their built, both of them were well-trained and muscular. The difference was Rinne held the man’s hands while also had to resist the burning pain inside him and the man didn’t.

Rinne was a strong man and he always knew about it. He amazed that this man’s strength could match his’. At times like this he realised that slacking off in the city and didn’t constantly through hard core routines like back at his hometown slowly decreased his stamina. Anyhow he had to win this fight if he wanted to live. He cursed himself that one of his predictions was right. The man was so persistent now he tried to pierce more through Rinne’s inside as he could feel some harder pressure coming.

“Nnggh. Ya don’t have to do this, you’ll be in trouble” Rinne struggled but he had to say that.

The man glared and gritted his teeth seeing Rinne’s resistance. Hatred showed more on his face. He mumbled again continuing some sentences he said earlier, explaining something too quickly for a person to comprehend. He knew he only got few minutes to do the assault on stage but he wanted to give Rinne the chance to know his reason.

“She loved you. She thought highly of you and always talked about you for years! She was depressed when you were gone! Lately you came back and she was happy! But you did a lot of bad things and changed. She saw you humiliated, tortured by fans, that saddened her even more until she became crazy! You don’t have the right to play with my daughter’s feelings!” he said it all while looking at Rinne who could barely understand him saying all of that.

Rinne just looked dazed but he still tried his best to listen.

* * *

On the other side of stage, a few seconds before that, Kohaku got a glimpse of shadows from the corner of his eyes when he lowered his head. He was on the centre of the stage. Somehow he felt uneasy so he took a glance to where it came and he spotted the left stage, where Rinne and Tatsumi were. There he saw it. He hated the fact that his bad feeling was right. Without further thinking he ran really fast to Rinne and shouted “Rinne-han!” by reflex. He worried. He thought at least he got to see closer.

His calling made the rest of ALKALOID and Crazy:B members gave eyes to Rinne. Some of them saw Rinne with a stranger but couldn’t seem to address what happened. From afar it looked as if Rinne was hugged by someone. The lights were dimmed because of the firm mood that Rinne genuinely wanted to give at the moment.

Tatsumi, the only one who could see them quite clearly was too shocked he suddenly felt weak on his legs and fell back. He couldn’t do anything other than holding to his cross inside his pocket and prayed. He wanted to crawl to get close to Rinne to help him but he couldn’t even move his legs. He was too frightened. And he didn’t want to worsen the already worse situation.

Kohaku was used to be in dangerous situation so he just knew if something suspicious happened. With the speed of light he finally got to Rinne and the man. He tried to restrict the man to get away from Rinne but it wasn’t easy. The man was around 3 cm shorter than Rinne but he was more muscular than Rinne. Compared to himself, both guys in front of him were huge.

Rinne was about to lose his balance but managed to keep standing and holding the man’s hands. More blood dripped down through the man’s hands.

“Khh! Stay out of this I can handle it” Rinne was startled to see Kohaku and said that simple warning because he didn’t want to involve anyone, moreover his unit member. 

The man didn’t want to give up. With Kohaku interfering and now holding him from behind, he realised that this assault needed to be over soon. Yet he wasn’t satisfied because Rinne still had some strength and even still standing. Madness and anger got him completely, he pulled himself together and violently let out from Rinne’s gripped by twisting the knife inside Rinne while also pierced him even more. 

“Khhaarrrghh”

Rinne groaned and threw up blood a little. His gripped loosen up as if he was about to give up his life.

The man noticed Rinne’s weakened state. He thought this was the moment to finish this man who ‘took’ his daughter’s life. He did the final blow he finally pulled out the knife from Rinne’s gut with brutal force and completely let go of Rinne’s gripped.

“GHHHGAHH st..op”

Rinne groaned even louder and slightly begged the man to get it over. The pain was tripled than before.

“NO!” Kohaku yelled. He got really angry seeing his Rinne-han in that state.

(Shit. I have to get myself together), he thought.

He gathered all of his strength. He pulled the man hard and finally got the man separated from Rinne. He saw the knife fell on the stage, stained with Rinne’s blood. He held the man more roughly as he twisted and broke the man’s right arm under his hands. He felt bad doing it in front of everyone but he needed to put him down or else his Rinne-han could be in more danger.

Rinne’s body shivered. His trembling hands tried to touch the wound and push it from bleeding but he didn’t have much energy to do it properly. His stomach bleeding profusely as he almost fell forward but he managed to just sway and kneel. His visions blurry looked down the stage floor. He started to feel lightheaded.

Kohaku saw Rinne kneeling and bleeding. He worried even more but he couldn’t let this mad man go of him. He thought someone would surely come to help Rinne.

The crowd on the left side screamed more hysterically. Some of them could see Rinne bleeding and about to collapse. It was a chaos. There were people trying to jump up the stage, either to help Rinne or to punish the man who now under Kohaku’s care. Some staffs were busy taking care of them to prevent more people involved on stage. How if the mad man was not alone? No one knew. It was best to keep the stage clear from stranger at any cost.

One bodyguard came up the stage to help Kohaku pinned down the man. Even in this situation the man tried to keep saying something to Rinne.

He talked fast and loudly like he was crazy. People might hear it too.

“I was finally free from work I wanted to take care of her only to find her dead body with your photo and her handwriting on the back. _I’m sorry. I can’t live without him. I want to follow him to hell, where he said he supposed to be. I want to help him restarting his life to be the Rinne I used to know. Please take care of yourself, Dad…_ HAHA. Hahahahaha! How could I?! Her mother left me, now her too?! Nothing left for me in this life! You have to take responsibility! You get it?! Ghhh ukkhhh.. hhhhmmph”

He said all that and started crying uncontrollably like a kid while struggling to let go of Kohaku and the bodyguard. They finally shut his mouth, not allowing him saying anything more. 

* * *

Rinne on his kneels heard what the man said while still trying to endure the pain. Again, he didn’t really catch all of it but he thought he got the point. He then felt excruciating pain on his body. He was aware he lost some more blood after the knife being pulled out. He knew that the knife should better stay in his stomach because taking it out only worsened the wound. That was also why he tried to hold the man from moving earlier.

(This hurt so bad… Is this really happening to me?) Rinne wondered, feeling more confused and dizzy.

The man intentionally stabbed him deep since the beginning. He could feel it. He saw he was mad and blinded by the will to kill him, to finish him off on stage. The stage where he just stood some minutes ago. Actually Rinne could defend himself by hitting on the man’s head but he just couldn’t do it. He thought even though the man wanted to kill him, he came from where his fans at so he couldn’t bring himself to harm him. He was the only one should suffer.

(Oh.. This is what I deserve. I get it. Kami-sama, just protect everyone, my little brother..), Rinne talked to himself as he finished processing some explanation from the man. He staggered more, his upper body was about to fall upward. He felt so weak but somehow he wanted to reply the man.

“ _sumanai_ ” he gathered small energy and said it softly.

His eyes half opened yet he suddenly saw nothing, he felt himself falling.


	3. Chaos, Once Again

Hiiro from the right side of the stage came to realisation to what just happened. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

“Nii-san!” he screamed loudly and ran fast to Rinne when he saw someone pulling out a knife from Rinne’s body.

He took off his ear set when he was running and almost slipped because of that but he didn’t care. He ran as fast as he could. The right stage and left stage was not far but also not near. So it took about 3 seconds for him to go there. Hiiro noticed his _nii-san’s_ unconscious state so he wanted to catch him from falling. Glad he caught him on time. With shaking hands he made him lying down, carefully watched his head and called him several times.

“No.. Nii-san! Nii-san! Can you hear me? Please.. It’s me, Hiiro,” he said but got nothing in reply.

Soon after Rinne had been laid down, he immediately observed the wound. Blood gushing out from the wound around Rinne’s stomach and middle abdomen. He took off his jacket, put it on the wound and pressed hard. He wanted to cry, but he cared about his _nii-san’s_ conditions more so he maintained his composure and tried to keep calm and focus taking care of him. With right hand pressing the wound, he placed his left hand to Rinne’s neck to make sure Rinne was alive. He was so glad when he could feel Rinne’s slow pulse on his fingers. He continued pressing the wound with both hands now.

“Nii-san. _._ can you hear me? Please open your eyes.. please answer me.. Nii-san..” Hiiro kept asking but still got no response.

Rinne fainted because of the sudden blood loss and shock. After a few seconds Hiiro got him laid down, he regained consciousness. He once heard someone called him. He felt confused and weak but he wanted to respond. He opened his eyes, his visions were still blurry. When he realised it was Hiiro he suddenly tried to get up. He had to know if Hiiro was alright.

“Nii-san! Don’t move.. you are injured.” Hiiro held him back.

As he tried to get up Rinne felt the world spinning and he was about to fall once again.

Hiiro carefully helped him lying down again.

But Rinne was still worried about him.

“Nghh _iya_ , Hiiro _ga_?” Rinne asked with husky voice, slightly frowned because of the dizziness.

Holding back his tears, Hiiro got what his _nii-san_ ’s meant.

“I’m fine Nii-san.. I’m taking care of you..”

Hearing that, Rinne closed his eyes and smiled weakly. Rinne was glad that his little brother was safe. His energy was drained from asking that question, he began to feel some more pain and he also noticed the pressure on the wound. His body started to feel cold. He felt his heart beating up faster. His eyes slightly opened but closed again in a second. His breathing was short and heavy.

“Nnghhh” he unconsciously muttered under his breath. He struggled to even just breathe.

It was an unbearable sight for Hiiro. But he was glad at least his _nii-san_ was awake and could respond him. Although he could feel him restless under his care, he knew his _nii-san_ tried his best to fight the pain. The blood in his hand was warm.

(Nii-san lost a lot of blood.. no.. this is bad.. Nii-san _.._ Please be alright..), he said inside his head.

“You will be alright, Nii-san _.._ ” he said to Rinne.

* * *

Niki was slow to get the idea of what exactly happening. He realised something was wrong after he heard Hiiro’s screaming and saw him holding Rinne’s unconscious body. He started to feel panic and walked fast to where they were, but every step felt so heavy. He thought he saw blood and it terrified him. He wasn’t ready to accept anything possibly happened. He walked still, faster this time. As soon as he arrived to where they were, there he saw Rinne was covered in blood.

“Rinne…-kun?” was all he could say.

He looked at Rinne’s white shirt and jacket that turned mostly red because of the blood. He felt sick all of a sudden. He didn’t know whether it was because he was too shocked or his low blood sugar came in the worst timing, perhaps both. He gathered all power he had and shook his head to regain some senses and took a sit beside Rinne, on the opposite of Hiiro. He carefully touched Rinne’s left hand and put it in his hands. Rinne’s hand was clammy and dirtied from blood. But he continued to hold it dearly.

* * *

HiMERU heard Kohaku’s screaming but he thought it was just Amagi starting a ruckus. When Hiiro was the one screaming he realised something not right happened. Then he saw him catching Rinne. He also saw audience panicking, crying and yelling, even running and pushing each other downstage trying to get out from the venue. Despite all that he managed to keep his cool. He asked Mayoi and Aira, the last ones noticed about what happened to handle the audience because he wanted to help Hiiro treating his leader. Living near hospital making him seeing injuries and all was not unusual for him. 

Aira and Mayoi nodded. Mayoi gave signal to the backstage staff to roll down the curtains so people wouldn’t see the horror on stage. He slightly took a glance to Rinne. The desire to go there and see Rinne’s injured body tempted him. It was until he was stopped by the sight of Tatsumi on the stage floor. He went to him and found him still frightened.

“Uh, Mayoi-san! Forgive me.. I… Rinne Amagi-san... but my legs.. can’t move..” Tatsumi said it while sweating and panic showed from his face.

“N-No... I apologize myself too..! It’s fine.. Let’s get you to the backstage... I will carry you..”

Mayoi was not much different. He was in panic too but somehow he could manage. Then he carried him on his shoulders and they went to the backstage together.

Aira was so nervous. He tried his best to remain calm. He explained to the audience that they would help with everything needed and apologized for everything that currently happening. He hoped that they would get home safely.

Aira’s speech and all the noises made ES idols in the backstage realised that something wrong really happening on stage. Eichi was close from stage so he came to Aira and helped him to calm the audience.

Some idols and staffs chattered in confusion. Some of them stayed backstage to help the staff fasten the curtains down and call for medical staff that in charged that day. They offered to help with anything. Some went downstage to the audience to guide them getting out of the venue. Some headed to the stage to assess the situation.

“Someone please call an ambulance and get the police!” Kohaku shouted knowing that some staff and ES idols came to where the incident happened to get a closer look. ALKALOID and Crazy:B were performing on stage so none of them had their phones with them.

Chiaki went to where the incident took place. He was shocked to see all of it but he noticed Rinne needed professional help as soon as possible. He gave Kohaku a fast response.

“I’m calling the ambulance!”

Ibara used to be in a war since he was a kid he could easily remain calm. Letting Chiaki initiated calling the ambulance he told everyone he would get the police. After a few seconds he said they were on the way. He asked his fellow ES idols to give some room for Rinne and the others treating him since Rinne would need some air.

Eichi told HiMERU to get the emergency oxygen that always prepared for him backstage. HiMERU got it, helped by Anzu when he was on his way to go to Rinne. HiMERU took a sit besides Niki, near Rinne’s head and began preparing the tank.

Anzu came from backstage and rushed to Rinne and Hiiro. She brought towels and first aid with her and put them close to Hiiro. She looked at Rinne’s pale face and she noticed his head was on the stage floor. She placed his head on her lap to help him more comfortable. She was ready to help with anything to assist Hiiro and HiMERU.

Leo and Tsukasa were about to go to Kohaku’s side in order to help him restricting the man.

“No! Don’t get closer, Bou. It’s dangerous,” Kohaku said.

Madara suddenly came from his back saying, “I will help you instead.”

Kohaku agreed this time, he nodded.

The curtains had down completely. People couldn’t see the stage anymore. But Crazy:B and mostly Rinne 's hard core fans cried hysterically and begged the staffs to see Rinne. Some of them even tried to climb up the stage. Akatsuki prevented them from happening. Kaoru, Mao, and Hokuto helped to keep them remained downstage by calming them down and explaining the situation.

Some of ES idols were just in shocked and looked at a group of people surrounding Rinne and the others surrounding the man. They didn’t know what to do. Seeing Rinne in a pool of blood was scary. But Rei stared at it and gulped.

“Oy! Get yourself together! Let’s see what we can do to help them!” Koga snapped at him.

Rei came back to his senses and nodded. He told Koga and Adonis to help Kaoru downstage, taking care the audience and make sure no further crime happened in this chaos. He saw there were enough people taking care of Rinne already so he didn’t want to interrupt. He thought about Ritsu and realised he didn’t see him anywhere. He went to find him to make sure his safety.

The situation was a real messed up.

* * *

Rinne’s hearing was faded. He could barely hear all the yelling and screaming or the commotion. Yet he was aware that he caused a chaos, again. He felt warm on Anzu’s lap and from the blanket she just put on his chest. He was aware people taking care of him. He hated the fact that he couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t even move. He was exhausted each second. To lessen the stress he took a glance to Hiiro and somehow it made him remembered his father. He recalled the lesson he got from his father about handling injury. He tried to take a deep breath slowly, failed the first time. He tried again. This time he managed to inhale and exhale one not so painful breath. He took this chance to turn to Hiiro and said,

“ _Arigatou_ Hiiro”

Hiiro was busy but he heard it. He wanted to cry again hearing that and seeing his _nii-san’s_ painful smile. But he had to stay strong. While still pressing the wound he replied him with calming voice,

“Um. I’m doing my best, Nii-san.”

Then Hiiro was lost in his thoughts. He analysed the wound again. It was horizontal, not vertical. He thought that the man who did this wasn’t an amateur. But it made him worried even more about the organ damaged his _nii-san_ ’s suffered. However, to stop the bleeding was his top priority. He never treated an injured human body before. He applied the knowledge he got from hunting animals with Rinne back when they were still together in their hometown. He hoped that what he did was right and could help his _nii-san_ to stay alive. His jacket was wet from the blood, now he needed more clothes.

Anzu gave him the towels she put earlier. With that Hiiro continued to press the wound.

HiMERU still prepared the oxygen.

Anzu made sure Rinne stayed warm on her lap while also helped HiMERU. 

Niki wanted to talk but he just didn’t know what to say.

Rinne’s eyes were opened but he just stared up blankly, as if he thought something unnecessary.

Niki was aware about the tension. He also noticed Rinne started to lose more of his colour.

“Rinne-kun, are you okay?” Niki finally started talking, while still holding Rinne’s now cold left hand.

Then he realised that it was a stupid question. He knew that Rinne was far from okay, but it was just what he could think of. He also thought he wanted to help Rinne to stay conscious by talking to him.

Rinne was slow in responding but he heard it. He slightly turned his head to Niki.

“Mmm, you worried? _Heiki dayo_ ”

Rinne said with a gentle smile on his face and a second later he closed his eyes again because he couldn’t bear to open them for long. But he forced to open his eyes again and added,

“Niki, _arigatou_ ” and softly squeezed Niki’s hand in his’.

Niki’s heart broke to pieces with the answers. He knew that Rinne just showing up a front. Even he could tell that he was in pain. It was bad, he thought. He surprised even someone like Rinne could be in this state. He was even more surprised hearing him thanked him. He couldn’t hold his feelings anymore.

“I will really hate you if you don’t try your hardest to live, Rinne-kun…”

Niki said while holding back some tears and stroking his hand.

Rinne just gave him another smile and didn’t say anything more. He didn’t want to make Niki sad. He didn’t want to let anyone knew that he was dying. He didn’t want to worry anyone. He felt exhausted and blacked out again.


	4. Promises I Can't Keep

HiMERU finished with the oxygen preparation. He attended Rinne who looked like he was just closing his eyes but actually he fainted again for second time. HiMERU didn’t realise about it so he talked to Rinne with his usual calm voice,

“Amagi, don’t talk too much. Conserve your energy. We see you are having trouble breathing so HiMERU is going to put this oxygen mask on you to help you breathe easier,” and carefully put the mask on Rinne’s nose and mouth. 

Rinne didn’t even move an inch when HiMERU put the mask.

HiMERU was aware of that when he adjusted the elastic band on Rinne’s head. He became worried.

“Amagi? How do you feel now?”

HiMERU asked but no response.

(This is the first time I see Amagi this close... and unlike his usual full of energy. This is painful.. Amagi is human after all.. We hope you can through this..)

HiMERU just stared at Rinne and thought about it. Then he could see Rinne’s exhaled air in the mask and he was glad that Rinne was breathing. He noticed Rinne was just off so he just waited for Rinne to respond him. He asked the same question once again.

Rinne didn’t know what HiMERU said neither did. But later he felt some nice air flowing over his nose and mouth. He regained consciousness and slowly opened his eyes. He was confused again, however he realized the situation was still the same as what he remembered before.

“Amagi?” he heard HiMERU called him softly.

Rinne found that he wore something strange on his face now. But he didn’t do anything and just accept the oxygen flowing to his brain. He painfully looked at HiMERU and replied him with “Mmm”.

HiMERU was glad Rinne responded him. He repeated his advice, saying to Rinne not to talk too much and conserve his energy. Now he added with,

“Please stay with us.. You can just blink or nod. Stay conscious, Amagi” 

Rinne just looked puzzled. Then he realised that his unit was all caring and kind to him. He recalled how Kohaku jumped in to separate him from the man who stabbed him. Niki, who always been there for him and cared for his wellbeing. He felt warm in his heart. He gave a nod to HiMERU and did what HiMERU said. 

The oxygen indeed helped him breathed better. Rinne conserved his energy and maintained his breathing by looking at the stage ceiling. He lost in his own thoughts. He wondered when all this pain would be over. He wanted to sing. He wanted to dance. He wanted to be an idol. Suddenly he frowned and closed his eyes tightly. He remembered something painful. He remembered that someone died because of his actions. He thought maybe he better met her and said his sorry, entertained her in the afterlife. While slightly hoped he could bring her back to this life to see her father again by exchanging his life instead.

Rinne really thought something unnecessary.

He opened his eyes again and looked at everyone who cared for him to shake off the idea.

* * *

Two minutes passed since Chiaki made the call for ambulance.

“They will be here in a few minutes. They’re close!” Chiaki said loudly.

“We will wait at the gate so we can guide them here faster!”

Someone said that. But Chiaki noticed it was Subaru’s voice, even in that much noises from audience who were still running here and there to get out from the venue or trying to see the incident. As expected of him as ES hero.

“Yes please! We’re counting on you, thank you!”

Chiaki believed in Subaru and said that while still on the phone with the paramedic. Then he rushed to get close to Rinne.

“Hang in there buddy, we got you..” he looked at Rinne and said with reassuring voice.

Then he turned to Hiiro and put a hand on his back.

“Hey.. you are doing great. Your brother will get some help.. They are on the way. And now one of the paramedics is still on the phone with me, asked me to monitor his respiration while waiting for them,” Chiaki said to Hiiro.

“I don’t know… I’m trying to stop the bleeding... but it didn’t stop.. Am I doing it right? What should I do? Chiaki-senpai..” Hiiro replied, almost wanted to cry.

“I’ve explained everything and the paramedic said it’s excellent. Just keep pressing the wound, Hero-kun!” Chiaki said and smiled to Hiiro.

Hiiro felt calmer a little bit because of that. He kept pressing and didn’t take his eyes off of his beloved brother.

Hearing their conversation, HiMERU gave some space to Chiaki. Without wasting any more time Chiaki started to do what the paramedic asked him. The phone was on loudspeaker so he could hear the paramedic instructions while also doing the checking. He put two fingers on Rinne’s neck and compared it with his own pulse.

“His heart is beating faster than me. It’s way faster actually,” Chiaki said to the paramedic on the phone.

The paramedic asked him to check his breathing. Chiaki needed to see his chest movement and listen to Rinne’s breathing from his mouth or nose.

“We put an oxygen mask to him, I think he is breathing through that,” Chiaki explained.

The paramedic said that it was good but Rinne’s airway still needed to be checked. The man asked Chiaki to remove the mask for a moment and listen to his breathing.

Chiaki listened and found out that Rinne’s breathing was short. Then he was told to place a hand on Rinne's forehead and lifted his chin up so Rinne could breathe easier. Rinne’s head should be positioned low.

They all listened to the phone so Anzu moved away and gently put Rinne’s head back to the floor. But now she put a towel below his head to prevent Rinne catching a cold. And she gave Chiaki her place.

Chiaki wasn’t sure about his own doing but he did it anyway.

Rinne didn’t feel comfortable with Chiaki’s doing. He was stubborn after all, even in this state. He didn’t want Chiaki to hold him. He slightly shook his head and resisted.

“Nnh.. _Irane.._ ” he said to Chiaki.

With that Chiaki let go. He thought even in this condition Rinne still acted like a troublesome kid. He told the paramedic that Rinne resisted and could talk. Still, he looked at Rinne and smiled.

“We will help you.. It’s alright..” Chiaki said to Rinne. 

Rinne just gave Chiaki a tired look. He felt uneasy. He turned his head to Hiiro and stared at him.

Chiaki then understood that Rinne just wanted to talk with his little brother. With consent from the paramedic, he gave them the moment. He thought it would be better for Rinne’s feelings. Then he put the oxygen mask back to him.

The paramedic told Chiaki to keep monitoring Rinne’s heart rate and breathing from his chest. Chiaki noted and turned off the loudspeaker. He also listened to some other instructions from the paramedic.

* * *

Rinne still had difficulties to breathe, even with the mask on. But he wanted to say something to Hiiro.

“Hiiro…. hh, hah.. If I.. hah, nnh”

Rinne wished to say it in just one sentence and one time but he was interrupted by his own hard breathing and the person he talked to.

“No! Don’t say it…” Hiiro said while holding back his tears.

“Nii-san left home once... I now understand it was part of my fault for being stupid... This time I won’t let you.... You promised me back then..”

Hiiro said that with concerned look and cold sweat to the older man. He was fast to understand what his _nii-san_ was about to say. He didn’t mean to make Rinne sad. He was just being honest.

Rinne was surprised with Hiiro’s saying. He tried to get what Hiiro’s meant. After a few seconds thinking, he got it. He remembered he ever said to Hiiro that he wouldn’t go anywhere and wouldn’t die. It was years ago before he came to the city. He didn’t think Hiiro was still clinging to his saying. He realised that he already broke one of those. Thinking about it made him stressed more. But he understood Hiiro’s feeling. He once again gave him a little smile.

(Oh, right. I guess I’m still a pathetic older brother who can’t even keep my words and always make you, the person I want to protect the most, upset. Even though what I always want is you to be happy.. Kami-sama really didn’t let us savour even small happiness together..),

Rinne lost in his thoughts again. He was sad to think that earlier they just had their best time together on stage. But the next minutes turned into this. Today was just full of things he didn’t think of. Something like kidnapping, seeing his old fans, and now this. He looked at Hiiro and tried to talk again, although this time was harder to do but he pushed himself.

“ _Kiite_ … nnhh, hah. I’m trying.. It’s just.. hah.. If I fail…. Ughh”

And suddenly he felt a pain and he huffed, trying to breathe again.

“Nii-san!”

Hiiro yelled.

Yet Rinne continued to talk.

”Smile… hmmh, Hiiro..”

Rinne said that gently. He wanted to say it with a smile on his face but he couldn’t. He tried with all his might to keep his eyes opened to see Hiiro’s answer. With small amount of oxygen left on his brain he tried his best to keep breathing. Of course, he wanted to stay alive. There were still a lot he wanted to do. He wanted to be an idol. With and for Hiiro, for himself, and for people who loved him. He wanted to make them smile and feel appreciated, to keep on living and having fun.

Hiiro couldn’t hold his feelings anymore after hearing what his _nii-san_ said, he cried. But he answered him as soon as he fully got the idea of his _nii-san_ ’s saying.

“No… Nii-san… I want to spend more time together with Nii-san.. to keep smiling without you is impossible for me now.. I want to be with Nii-san.. Please.. Nii-chan.. nnngh”

Hiiro was sobbing. While still pressing the wound, he just hoped that the ‘ambulance’, the thing that he didn’t understand what it was would come as soon as possible. He just believed that his _nii-san_ would get more help from that.

Rinne felt a pang in his heart after hearing Hiiro’s saying and seeing him cried. He once again realised what he really good at was making Hiiro sad. He wanted to give his everything ever since Hiiro was born. Yet he failed again to do so. He didn’t know what to say and he just looked him on the eyes.

Randomly the thought about his hometown came. He knew at some point he would come back home. He wanted to be an idol there too. Sure, it would be different form of idol. Even though he had to be the monarch, there must be some way to keep being him. The last time he did some speech, everyone confused and rejected him. He couldn’t accept being denied any longer so he left. Years passed, he had fun and learnt so many things in the city. He didn’t think Hiiro would come for him, and with everyone at home agreed to that. He thought no one would care about him anymore. But just recently he knew now that he was wrong. They still cared for him. Even though what they cared about the most was for him to take the throne.

Knowing that he couldn’t run away from his fate anymore and he found that even Hiiro understood him now, one day he would face them again. He wanted to face them properly when the time comes. He was young the last time he saw them. Now that he became adult, he knew he had some responsibilities to take. 

He would take the lead and become the monarch. But he wanted to make some improvement under his lead. He would like to apply the knowledge he got from the city. In fact, he was the only one who could do it. He knew there would be some hardships and rejections again, from the adults who only care for their positions and businesses. But with Hiiro by his side, he thought he could do it. He wanted to make his family and everyone happy too, after all. He was sure there would be people like Hiiro, who would understand him. Also he wanted to give them and let them knew about it… the fun things he got from the city, while he would let them doing the usual.

He wanted it all. But this happened.

(Ahh, this is upsetting. I will never understand life. Who thought something like this would happen? I bet even God of Gambling wouldn’t know about this. I’m still a fool. Yeah, only death can heal a fool), he thought inside his head.

He closed his eyes, trying to catch a deep breath. And he failed. He felt weaker all of a sudden. The blood that came out of his body was slower since Hiiro pressed the wound, yet now it’s getting thicker. He pulled himself together to stay conscious because he still got something to talk to Hiiro. He started to feel afraid there was no other time to say it.

“ _Imamade, gomen.._. I, hah.. always think of you…. nghh. And our family… ughnnhh”

Rinne tried his best to finish that sentence and he was glad he did it. He thought if he couldn't breathe all of a sudden, at least he had said it. Then he closed his eyes again, trying to breathe and bear the pain he felt in his heart.

Hiiro sobbed even louder. His visions were blurred because of his own tears. He blinked and wiped them with his shoulder to get more focus on his sight. Once his eyes cleared he saw his _nii-san_ looked paler and breathed more rapid and shallow. He needed to push away his emotions right now, he thought. He had to use his brain. He had to think what he should do. He wanted to keep his _nii-san_ alive. But he really couldn’t do it alone. He thought, he couldn’t save his _nii-san_ alone. 

“Nii-san! What’s wrong?! Nii-san! Please… somebody… help Nii-san!” Hiiro screamed with all his might.

Rinne’s blood pressure suddenly dropped. 

He gasped for air. In a few seconds he felt that everything was so light but also so heavy. Every part of his body ached, even his fingertips. He heard Hiiro’s painful screaming, and his name being called. He tried to answer or just give a small response to tell them he was still alive, but nothing worked. He couldn’t even give an order from his brain. This was so scary, he thought. He never experienced this kind of thing before.

(So this is how people die? I’m really dying now? No... I don’t want this. I want to take control of myself), he said to himself.

Then he remembered something. He used to hunt animals back in his hometown. He thought that the animals he killed must feel something like this before dying on his hands. And the thought of it just made Rinne came to understand why everyone at home did some rituals and such, the things that he never liked. For him all of those things were just stupid and old-fashioned. Yet he had to do it because of obligation, because he was born in this family. Moreover, he had to be his father’s successor, the leader of this clan. 

(What is it? Why am I remembering them now of all time? Haha. I’m an idiot. Hiiro, I’m sorry. Please take care), he thought.

After that, darkness completely consumed him.

This was the third time he lost consciousness.

Except this time he couldn’t wake up or even breathe.


	5. Every Second Matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations for ALKALOID and Crazy:B 's first live, Kiss of Party!  
> There is a re-run in November. Take the chance to see them if you missed it! :) 
> 
> Also I want to kindly remind you that my fic is explicit ><  
> If you get triggered easily and it's affecting you negatively, please stop reading!!  
> If you somehow find this enjoyable, I hope you stay with me until the end :)
> 
> Thank you!!

It’s been ten minutes since Rinne got stabbed.

Chiaki who monitored Rinne’s breathing was aware that suddenly Rinne's chest stopped moving up and down. He removed the oxygen mask and checked his breathing but he felt nothing. But he also could feel that Rinne’s pulse got faster in short amount of time. He shouted Rinne’s name and patted his face to wake him up but no response.

Rinne had just stopped breathing.

“Nii-san!”, Hiiro screamed.

“Amagi!” ,“Rinne-kun!” everyone around Rinne called out many times.

While still touching Rinne’s neck to keep checking on his pulse, Chiaki panicked and yelled to the man on the phone, asking what to do.

“He’s not breathing! And his pulse.. huh..! It was so fast a moment ago but now it’s.. so weak I almost can’t feel it… Hey! Where is the ambulance?! What should we do?!”

The paramedic on the phone asked him not to panic and told Chiaki that Rinne might suffer cardiac arrest because of the blood loss. He also said the ambulance would arrive in around two more minutes. He said if that was the case then every second matters and they had to start doing CPR immediately.

Chiaki shivered. Panic showed all over his face.

Hiiro still pressed the wound to stop the bleeding but he noticed Chiaki’s panic reaction he yelled,

“Chiaki-senpai! What is it? What did he say? Chiaki-senpai!? Please!!”

Chiaki came back to his senses and told him and everyone near Rinne that they had to do CPR as soon as possible.

Everyone chattered. Some just looked perplexed. No one ever experienced that kind of emergency. Even every time Eichi collapsed, there was never needed to do it.

Hiiro asked what was it, how to do it, and said he would do it. He thought if no one wanted to help his _nii-san,_ of course he would, no matter what.

With shaking hands Chiaki turned on the loudspeaker again and put his phone on the floor.

The paramedic started to explain how to do the CPR in simplest way, knowing that they weren’t professionals. But he highlighted that they had to be careful with Rinne’s wound. Someone had to keep pressing the wound. If the wound started bleeding a lot again, they needed to stop the CPR.

They listened carefully and got ready.

Chiaki said he would do the compressions. He began immediately and started counting, with hands trembled and sweats on his face. He was now on the right side of Rinne, doing the compressions on his chest while making sure he didn’t touch the wound.

HiMERU talked with the paramedic.

After knowing the type of mask from HiMERU, the paramedic said the oxygen mask they had there didn’t fit for rescue breathing since Rinne couldn’t breathe on his own. They had to do it mouth to mouth so the air could go straight into his airway.

Hiiro quickly said he would do it. 

HiMERU initiated to take over Hiiro’s position. He pressed the wound that was still bleeding with a new towel. From four towels Anzu brought, that was the last. 

Anzu asked one staff who stood by near them to go find the medical staffs. The backstage staff who supposed to call them since minutes ago was not coming at all even until now. She wondered there must be something wrong. She asked him to do it quick, Rinne really needed professionals. After that she moved to Rinne’s left side and said she would monitor Rinne's pulse on his neck and wrist.

Niki, looking all of that, started to feel very dizzy. He couldn’t believe the sight in front of him. He was afraid. He didn’t want to lose Rinne, his best friend. After all they had been through Rinne was the one who could make him forgot about his loneliness. He liked being with Rinne, no matter how troublesome he was sometimes. He felt faint so he took a step back because he knew he would be a bother to everyone who took care of Rinne if he collapsed there. He staggered and almost fell.

“Shiina-kun!”

Kaoru was done taking care of the audience downstage, he was about to ask if his Moricchi needed a hand so he came closer to Rinne and the others. He was surprised to see Niki almost falling. He caught him and shook him lightly.

“Shiina-kun, hey! Are you alright?” he asked but the other was unable to answer.

Niki’s eyes shut closed, his face frowned.

Kaoru asked again, “Shiina-kun!?” 

Niki finally opened his eyes and noticed Kaoru held him. He answered with pained smile,

“Uhh.. Hakaze-kun? Nnh sorry.. I have low blood sugar.. And seeing Rinne-kun.. I can’t..”

“… I get it.. Shall I get you to the green room backstage? You want to lie down?” Kaoru worried. 

“No.. I want to be here.. I don’t want to be far from him.. Mmm, perhaps you can find me food? I’ll get better if I eat.. Sorry to trouble you.. But I’d appreciate if you can help me..”

Niki answered and managed to keep walking in Kaoru’s assistance.

Kaoru sat him down on one of the speakers near them. He said it was all right and he asked him to wait a moment. He went and got back in a minute. He gave Niki the food he needed. He also had a water bottle with him.

Niki thanked Kaoru again and started to eat. He looked pale but he didn’t want to lie down anywhere, he just wanted to keep close to Rinne. He felt bad he couldn’t be a help, unlike everyone around him. But his body was just like that since he was born. He had to keep eating more often than people usually do to keep up his energy. And Rinne was the one who really understood about it. Sometimes he gave him a lot of food after he doubled up the money Niki had from work. Even though it was from gambling, and as much as he disliked Rinne’s gambling hobby, he couldn’t help himself. Rinne was having a hard time lately so he let him as long as it made him happy. He also knew that Rinne would get bored from it eventually. But if Rinne couldn’t survive this, everything wouldn’t matter anymore. He ate fast the _onigiri_ he got from Kaoru so he could get ready to stand by to join the others helping Rinne.

Kaoru sat beside him and told him to take it easy unless he wanted to get choked. Kaoru decided to take care of Niki instead of lending Chiaki a hand. He didn’t want to interrupt the process. He saw everyone around Rinne had their roles already.

* * *

Hiiro moved quickly and already set on his new position. His _nii-san’_ s head was in front of him now. He gently titled his head, caressed his bangs to one side, and he lifted up his chin and opened his mouth. He kept his _nii-san_ ’s head steady by holding his face with both of his hands. He could feel him cold. And now Rinne’s pale face was slightly bloodied because of the blood that still left on Hiiro’s hands, even though he tried to wipe it off before holding him. His hands were shaking, just like Chiaki’s. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves while looking at his _nii-san_. He tried to focus while waiting for Chiaki’s cue before giving some air to Rinne. He wondered in his thoughts,

(What is this.. if Nii-san was awake, he wouldn’t let us doing this.. I really wish this was just a dream.. Please.. Wake me up from this nightmare.. Nii-san, is not breathing...?! No.. My stomach hurts… My heart feels so tight...) 

Not long Chiaki reached 29 and for the 30 he yelled, “Hero-kun!”

Hiiro heard it and he was up fast. He gently pinched Rinne’s nose and breathed into Rinne’s mouth. He felt Rinne’s cold and soft lips. His heart beat faster. He tried to keep it down but failed. Rinne’s chest was slightly moving when he gave the air. After second breath finished, there wasn’t any movement. He still didn’t feel his _nii-san_ ’s breathing.

Anzu suddenly said she didn’t feel anything on Rinne’s neck or wrist. She wanted to cry now. But she managed to hold back.

Rinne was clinically dead just now.

“No! Nii-san can’t be.. No..”

Hiiro said it in confusion. His hands somehow loosened on his _nii-san’_ s face. He felt weak all of a sudden.

The paramedic said to keep the CPR going and asked them to keep calm by encouraging them.

Chiaki gritted his teeth. He began another cycle of compressions and started to count from 1 again.

Holding his lifeless _nii-san_ in his hands, Hiiro felt harder to breathe. He had to pull himself together to calm his own breathing. He talked to himself, gathering some courage.

(This can’t be true.. Nii-san is strong.. He always is.. Hhhngh, my chest hurts even more.. But I can do this. I want to help Nii-san.. This is the right thing to do. I want Nii-san to wake up.. I want to see his smile.. The smile that I always love.. I have to save Nii-san’s smile..)

Hiiro forced himself to take a deep and slow breath, abled to keep his logic. He was now ready to give another nice air to his _nii-san_.

Chiaki yelled, “30!”

Hiiro could control himself by giving two steady breaths. Then he closed his eyes and put his forehead on Rinne’s forehead, willing to give some of his warmth to his _nii-san,_ while still holding his face to keep it from moving. To be this close, he noticed his _nii-san’s_ hair smells different with the one he remembered from the moment Rinne carried him home when he was so tired after hunting in the forest. Of course, he was not living in the same house together anymore after all. But he still loved this new smell. It's comforting. He realised now that he missed him so much, so much he almost broke down. The last time he got close with his _nii-san_ was around six years ago. He regretted that he let his _nii-san_ alone and distanced himself just because he was the one who would become the next king. He treated him like the others in the village treated him. He thought that was the right thing to do because everyone doing so. He wished he could turn back time. But he knew he couldn’t. He softly whispered to Rinne, hoped somehow he could hear him,

“Nii-san… I’m begging you.. don’t give up.. I want to see your smile again.. I want you to be happy... hhmh. I will stand by your side.. I won’t let Nii-san feeling lonely, ever again.. Nii-chan.. _onegai dakara_.. don’t leave me.. _aishiteru_..”

Hiiro still closing his eyes, managed to hold back some tears. He had to prioritize helping Rinne.

Anzu was now crying silently. But she kept on searching for pulse. She said she still felt nothing. 

Chiaki was in the middle of doing another cycle of compressions, but then Subaru along with Makoto and Sena came with the paramedics from the ambulance.

The paramedic on the phone could hear that they were coming. He said he finished his duty so he praised them and ended the call, letting the current paramedics who just arrived in charge.

There were three men. In an instant Rinne got surrounded by all of them and their medical equipment.

People gave them the space.

One of them took over Chiaki to continue giving compressions to Rinne’s chest. He didn’t forget to pat his shoulder and tell “great job” before that.

The other one came close to Rinne’s head and patted Rinne’s left shoulder gently, trying to confirm the state of his responsiveness. No response he got but he still said to him that they came to help him. Then he looked at Chiaki and asked,

“How many cycle you already did? And who called the ambulance?”

“It’s me. And three, if I remember correctly,” Chiaki answered.

“Ok, great. You guys are doing great,” the paramedic said.

Then he noticed Hiiro who looked all confused and asked Hiiro to move so he could take his place and began doing the rescue breathing using a BVM. While doing it he asked Chiaki some questions about Rinne’s name and age, also his conditions since he was stabbed.

Chiaki answered as much as he could and told him that Hiiro was Rinne’s brother and the one with him since the beginning. 

With shaking voice Hiiro answered all of the questions he could answer.

The last one of them got close to HiMERU and said “great job” as well. He asked HiMERU to remove his hands for a moment and he began to take off all the towels and Hiiro’s jacket on the wound. He cut Rinne’s inner white shirt that became red with scissors in fast speed. He did it carefully, not cutting any skin and without bothering his partner who was doing the chest compressions.

People who saw and everyone near Rinne could see Rinne’s body. His slim but muscular body with packs of abs was now exposed. Some of them chattered. HiMERU could hear someone said “ _kirei,_ ” some of them even talked about how surprising to see Rinne didn’t have any tattoo. HiMERU wondered how come people could think something like that in the middle of this situation. Yet he couldn’t help himself thinking something strange as well.

(Amagi.. Don’t tell me.. This was also part of you plan? it can't be.. Right?! Wake up, Amagi. There's a lot we still don't understand).

He said inside his head while looking at the wound. Being exposed like that also meant the deep and long cut of the wound on Rinne’s stomach and middle abdomen could be seen clearly. It was still bleeding but it was much slower because of the direct pressure Hiiro and HiMERU gave earlier. But the compressions on Rinne's chest made the blood kept coming out from the wound. 

The paramedic started to assess the wound and quickly controlled the bleeding. He cleaned the wound and had it covered with white gauzes. HiMERU helped him by keeping some pressure. Rinne’s body was wrapped in a lot of white bandages and the wound was now out of sight. He asked HiMERU’s assistance to keep pressing the wound, no matter if it became red again because of the bleeding. After that he moved his attention to Rinne’s left arm. He started preparing an emergency blood transfusion. He let out one pack of blood from a cooler box he brought. 

Niki got enough energy back after he got some food from Kaoru. He pushed himself to get up when the paramedics came. He came closer to them near HiMERU to stand by if they needed more help. He tried to keep thinking positively, he wanted Rinne to keep alive. And he would do anything for it. Seeing one of the paramedics was busy preparing transfusion he offered a hand to hold the blood. That was the least he could do to help his best friend.

“ _Hai, sumimasen ne. Onegaishimasu._ Please keep it high, _yosh,_ like that. _”_

The paramedic said to Niki. After preparing the blood and set up the tubing, he cut Rinne’s jacket so he could get a hold of Rinne's arm. He tied a strap around that strong arm and began cleaning and searching for a vein underneath. It took some seconds to finally get it. He inserted a needle and catheter and removed the strap. He attached the tube and started doing the transfusion. One pack of O negative blood started dripping, flowing to Rinne’s body through that IV. He set the speed fast so that the blood that Rinne had lost could be replaced as fast as possible. He was glad he got another help from Niki because he had to do something else. After he finished with it he moved to the side of his partner who did the rescue breathing to help him started intubation.

The paramedic on Rinne’s chest kept on doing the compressions and counting.

They had performed five cycles of compressions since they came, two minutes passed.

The rescue breathing team began to intubate Rinne. They communicated to each other and moved fast. The one holding Rinne’s head started to insert a laryngoscope blade into Rinne’s mouth and then throat.

Hiiro stared and suddenly felt nauseous when he saw it. He yelled in reflex,

“What’s that?! No! What are you doing to Nii-san?!” 

Hiiro didn’t understand a thing about the paramedics' work. He was scared to see his _nii-san_ got treated like that.

Chiaki realised the state Hiiro was in, he held Hiiro in his arms and moved him away from them.

Hiiro resisted, he wanted to keep close to his _nii-san_.

Chiaki understood, but he thought Hiiro shouldn’t interrupt them. He embraced Hiiro tightly, reassured him that Rinne was now in good hands.

Hiiro kept looking at his beloved brother and cried for second time. Hiiro was sobbing, he couldn’t hold himself anymore.

Another tube was now in Rinne’s airway, the BVM without the mask was attached on it, and white straps were set around his mouth and neck to secure the tube from moving. They continued ventilating Rinne. 

It was a terrifying sight.

ES idols near them couldn’t do anything other than staring. Some couldn't keep on seeing and left. Some stayed with hands covering mouths. Some hoped and prayed Rinne could be saved, even though most of them didn’t know Rinne pretty well. They thought that Rinne was part of ES idols, so he was also part of the family.

The situation downstage was still a mess. Crazy:B and Rinne ’s hard core fans still refused to go home. They cried heavily and even threatened to hurt themselves if they didn’t let them keep being there. Some staffs handling them with extra care. There were also some reporters who tried to capture the moment with their cameras on. Some staffs were still busy clearing out the venue. 

In the center stage, Eichi and Aira were done taking care the now mostly empty seats audience so they came to Chiaki and Hiiro.

“Chiaki,” Eichi said and put one hand on Chiaki’s shoulder.

“Tenshouin,” he answered and looked back to him while still holding Hiiro in his arms.

“Hiiro-kun!” Aira yelled and came close to Hiiro, painfully looked him in the eyes and held his hands, trying to give him some support.

“Aira… Nii-san is.. nghh, I’m.. scared..”

Hiiro was still crying, but he slightly calmed down in Chiaki’s arms.

“It’s painful to see, indeed. But they are doing their best to save your brother, Hiiro-san. Thanks to them I can keep on living. I’ve lived my life with that kind of treatment, yet I can't help feeling grateful. Stay positive, Hiiro-san. If anything, we are here for you. And I’m sure your brother is trying.. Miracle does exist..”

Eichi said all of that with concerned smile on his face. He was genuinely worried about these brothers. 

Hiiro listened to him even though he didn’t fully understand. He nodded and he felt a little bit relieved he got more support.

“That’s right! Hero-kun.. They are continuing what you just did, saving your brother’s life..”

Chiaki added. He could feel Hiiro was less tensed in his arms. He looked at Eichi and said,

“Tenshouin, can I leave him to you? I need to help them. They need more hands.”

“Of course, that’s why I’m coming here first. Go, Seigi no Mikata-kun. It’s your job to save lives, right?”

Eichi said that and held Hiiro in his arms now. 

Chiaki smiled and hurriedly went back to the paramedics.

Hiiro slightly struggled and said,

“I want to help Nii-san too! Let me go, Eichi-senpai!”

“No.. I will let you when I see you ready.. You are tired and confused. You will be a bother there.. You said you want to help him then you should calm yourself first.. I’m sorry for doing this, just trust them for now..”

Eichi said with worried face.

Hiiro knew he couldn’t win against Eichi. And what he just said was right. He stopped struggling. He looked back to Rinne and people taking care of him. No matter how much he tried to calm down, he was still shocked to see all of it. Strange blade and some tubes attached into a human body. That was the first time he saw all of it. And it was to his _nii-san’s_ body _._ He didn’t understand what kind of medication was all of that. But at the end he trusted them. All he wanted was to see his _nii-san_ alive.

“Ngghh, please save him.. If only I could give my life to keep Nii-san staying alive.. I would do it.. that’s why.. ghhh, please.. save him.. Please...”

Hiiro begged as if it was his life that was in danger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for doing this to Amagi brothers. But please remember that I love them so much. 
> 
> Oh and I'm not a medic or anything, I'm just a fan!!  
> If there is one or two of you reading, I'm sorry if I wrote something wrong..  
> Again, this is just a fiction ^^,  
> But I'm trying my best and I learn a lot of new things when making this, so I'm happy :)  
> Thank you for your hard work saving people's lives! Mostly with the current reality we live in..  
> Please, I hope everyone stays safe! 
> 
> Always and always, thanks for all kudos and even for you who just read!! :)  
> 
> 
> -Erin


	6. A Warm Voice

Rinne opened his eyes, only to see white. It was all white and quiet. He also wore all white clothes. Unbuttoned oversized long white shirt, drooped on his shoulders more to the left, exposing half of his upper body. With long white slim fit destroyed jeans. He was standing barefoot.

(Mmh.. _Samui.._ Uwaah! No wonder I feel cold. Gyahaha. What are these clothes?! Ughh, my head hurts.)

Rinne fixed his shirt, buttoned up most of it until he left only one button while thinking inside his head. He somehow felt in peace. But he also felt lonely and cold. It was like his childhood, when he mostly got no one but himself to talk. 

(Anyway.. Where am I? … Interesting.. I wanna find out.)

He rubbed his eyes to get a clearer vision. For some minutes he couldn’t do anything other than walking. Later he felt bored so he ran endlessly, to find something he could at least find. There was blinding light far in front of him, he wanted to reach that. But later he realised he couldn’t. It felt so far away, even though he already ran far enough. After some time he started to feel tired. He stopped and felt cold again. It was still quiet and nothing to do.

Minutes after, he heard a soothing voice. Only once, but it was such a beautiful melody to him. His heart skipped a beat. It made him smiled. He wanted to sing all of a sudden, along with that voice. He felt warm. He wanted to hear that voice again. He wanted to give back his own melody, in hope he could hear it again.

(What was that? I don’t get what it said but I feel.. warm.. Was it meant for me? Ah, it’s like.. my little brother’s voice.. Hmm, was it?!)

He wondered. He heard it, but it wasn’t clear. So he wasn’t sure about it. He really wanted to respond that voice. He opened his mouth, tried to say “hello”, but nothing came out. He was confused and felt strange. He kept trying, still nothing he could hear in that complete silence. He wondered if it’s his hearing that was wrong. But later he knew it’s not, after he clapped his hands and he could hear it just fine. He was not in peace and didn’t find this interesting anymore. He was rather in distress.

(No.. What happened to my voice? Why can’t I make any sound?)

He began panicking. Later that voice came again. He tried to follow it. He ran and ran, only to lose it again. He felt relieved because he had that voice, something he could hold on to in here. But he hated that he couldn’t reply with his own voice.

(I want to answer that voice, let me answer. I wanna talk.. I don’t wanna be alone.. please..)

He begged. He felt lonely even more. He tried to make some noises so he clapped his hands so many times. Some time passed and the voice didn’t come since the last time. He was sad. Later, he was so determined trying his own voice again. He forced himself. He yelled and yelled and yelled until he hurt his throat. But he still couldn’t make any voice. He was exhausted and his head started to get hurt even more. He looked down, resting with his hands on knees, bent over to catch some breaths. All of a sudden a river of memories flooded inside his head. He remembered every bitter memory he just had. It was all still fresh, he felt it. He recalled he was happily singing on stage together with his little brother and both of their units, but at the end he was attacked and collapsed.

He glared looking on the floor, feeling shocked. He touched his stomach and felt all right. Nothing was wrong with his body. But the sensations from his memories made him felt nauseous. He almost threw up but he managed to gulp it down. He clearly remembered every pain he felt. He also remembered the face of the man who stabbed him and the reason why he did it, the story of the man’s daughter. The guilty feeling inside him was gone for a while since he woke up in this place, yet all of it came back and it made him depressed. 

(Aah.. really?! His daughter died because of me.. Although it’s me.. the only one should better die... Could he possibly make up the story? What for? He shouldn’t need to go that far to kill me if he did?! He wanted to go to jail? Hahaha, no way. That’s just too stupid. I somehow trusted him. The look on his eyes.. I could feel his pain.

Yeah.. I did something awful to my old fans.. You didn’t have to die for me.. Miss..

… Hhh.. why someone has to die because of me? I.. even though I’m.. just a pathetic human being.. Why my life is always like this in the first place?

Wrong. I did wrong again. I always do wrong. My life is wrong.. huh? Why is it, Kami-sama?! Enough.. I don’t want to feel guilty anymore.. Stop.. please.. can anyone.. free me from this guilt? I was right.. I shouldn’t been born.. I should just die already..

But.. would Hiiro be sad if I died? I wonder.. He might be.. but he could forget it when he got busy with duties. He could be a proper leader, instead of me. I’m sure of it, since he always cared for our kind that much. He needs a lot to catch up though.. But with help from our mentors, he would be able to pull through. He's always smart. It’s good then, I can go and see that man’s daughter and ask for her forgiveness, or even sing for her if she let me.

Ah.. but what’s the point if I can’t make any sound?! Haha. I’m hopeless. I don’t care though, let’s see about it later. _Yosh_ , it’s decided..)

Rinne kept talking to himself and walking aimlessly. 

(Hmm, I thought that warm voice was from him, Hiiro.. But that’s impossible, right? There’s no way he would be here. And most importantly, I remember. He told me he was alright and yes I kinda saw him unharmed. So I'm glad. I can’t seem to remember what happened next, though.. As for me, I think my state was bad… there’s small chance for me to live.. I bet.

Uh.. If I were gone then Hiiro didn’t have any option… to take the lead to replace me.. I know so well he couldn’t go against Otou-sama and Okaa-sama, and everyone. He is always so obedient. Damn. That’s too early for him. He should enjoy school and live his youth the way he wants. Maybe I’d better go and keep searching a way to go to him.. 

How though?! I’m here, in an unknown, weird, and cold place like this. I think I died already. Right? Kyahaha. I looked around and found nothing. There’s no way life could be like this. Life is always packed and full of difficulties. It was hard for me to even breathe.. 

Wait.. now I’m talking to myself inside my head?! I can think and move.. It’s just, I can’t speak.. So I didn’t die? …. When a person dies, they should not be able to move.. or even think.. I read that a lot. Also, I’m not transparent.. I can see myself perfectly fine.

This.. If I can’t die.. At least let me do something… I want to answer the voice that I just heard. It's so warm, I could smile just by listening to it.. But it also.. feels sad.. That’s why.. I want to make that person smile…

No. I think I am the only one who can make that person smile? He called out for me, right? Since no one is here except me? ….

… Do I still live now? What is with this world? I thought this is afterlife? I don’t get it.. Where is the thing that supposed to pick me up to the sky? This isn’t sky.. I can’t see any cloud?! I want to fly.. freely in the sky.. That must feel so good. Is this just a dream? But this feels so real.. So what am I? Will I be wandering like this eternally?

Hey.. If I can’t do anything here, what is the point of me being here? Should I wait more? But what should I do in this emptiness? To keep waiting? For that voice to come again? Where was it even come from? Kami-sama.. Do you hear me?!)

He just couldn’t shut his thoughts. He felt even more desperate. He stopped and just stared at his own hands, his body, and his surroundings that only full of white, infinite space. He still didn’t know what to do. One thing he knew, he wanted to hear that warm voice again.


	7. A Glimmer of Hope

Meanwhile, the paramedics still worked in a team and tried their best to save Rinne. In this team, the one who did the rescue breathing since the beginning was the leader. He kept focusing his role to give Rinne some oxygen he needed.

The paramedic who helped him with the intubation was now busy with a new thing. He moved on to Rinne's right side near his legs and let out another needle and catheter, along with tubes and one bag of IV fluid.

Chiaki just arrived in time and he understood the situation, he offered himself to hold the fluid.

The paramedic accepted the offer and immediately started setting up the tubes. He began searching for a vein on Rinne’s right hand now. This was the second IV line, for medicines. He carefully made the way for it. He also set the dripping speed fast so Rinne could get the meds he needed as soon as possible.

The other two paramedics kept doing the compressions and ventilating Rinne. Two IV lines were now attached on Rinne’s both hands. One was the blood on Rinne’s left arm and one was the fluid on Rinne’s right hand.

After a minute, the paramedic let out one adrenaline injection. Through the new IV line he let it flew into Rinne’s nerves along with the fluid. He cleaned it out and then he pulled out a high tech AED with monitor from his bag. He began the preparation to restore Rinne’s heartbeat, to also monitor Rinne's vitals. He clipped a pulse oximeter on Rinne’s right index finger and started setting up everything. Beeping sounds could not be heard yet. That small device couldn't read such small rate of oxygen that Rinne currently had. Soon later he carefully wiped Rinne’s chest from all sweat and blood that still stained, and he didn’t bother his partner who did the compressions. He gently attached two defibrillator pads on Rinne’s chest, one on upper right and one on lower left near the heart. He ensured it didn’t touch the wound.

The machine started analyzing.

The paramedics stopped doing anything for a few seconds.

Then it made some more noises again saying, “no shock advised.”

After that the paramedic leader removed the valve and placed his left ear on the tube on Rinne’s mouth, trying to listen and hoped that Rinne had started breathing on his own. Sadly it was just a false hope. He heard nothing. Rinne still didn’t breathe. He told his team to resume the compressions while adjusting the valve back on the tube and continued the ventilation. They waited for the machine to start reanalyzing again while also kept on monitoring Rinne’s rhythm.

Hiiro saw it from where he stood, still in Eichi’s arms.

“Nii-san.. Do you really?.. No.. I won’t let you. I want to be with him.. Let me be with him.. Eichi-senpai..”

Hiiro had calmed down much more than before, though he was still flustered. He gave Eichi a painful look but it was also full of determination. He wanted to convince Eichi that he was ready to be by his brother’s side.

Eichi was surprised by that look. Those glimmering aquatic blue eyes, pierced through him painfully yet beautifully. It was hurtful but also full of hopes. Suddenly a wave of jealousy engulfed him. He remembered when he collapsed on stage right after DreFes, back when he was still a student in Yumenosaki, not even one person of the old _fine_ members cared about him. It was all his fault though, and he was thankful enough Wataru was the only one taking care of him. It's just looking at Rinne now, surrounded by almost all of his friends from his unit members along with his one and only brother who loved him so much, he wanted to tell Rinne that he's a lucky guy. He also wished for him to breathe again, not giving up. Like him who refused to give up every time his heart screamed inside him to just give up. Even so, he was aware that the current situation was different with his usual. The fact that Rinne's heart had stopped beating for minutes now, made him really worried too. In fact he had never experienced that. He was done wondering in thoughts, later he was convinced that Hiiro had calmed enough. He wondered how Hiiro could be that strong to handle it. So far ever since he found him, he was always surprised him. He understood Hiiro's persistence, he finally let him go.

Without further thinking, Hiiro ran to his beloved brother's left side, near Niki. He kneeled down and gently touched his _nii-san’s_ cold left hand and then held it tightly in his hands. He was careful enough not to disturb the IV on the arm. He rubbed his _nii-san_ 's hand softly, wanted to transfer some of his warmth. He closed his eyes and talked to himself.

“Nii-san… This feeling.. It hurts.. Nii-san.. I can’t hold it.. Please.. come back.. let’s live.. together.. I will do anything for you.. You know that.. always.. I even came to this city for you.. right.. I realised now.. _Boku mo, Nii-san ni, aishiteiru.._ Please.. come back..”

He said it, more like a prayer. He finally opened his eyes and looked at Rinne _._ He still cried but he pushed himself to keep calm.

Niki was closed to Hiiro so he could slightly hear what he said. He too, couldn’t hold his feelings any longer, he felt jumbled. It was unbearable to see. These brothers, why they had to through this kind of life, he thought. He closed his eyes, his head turned down. With bangs and long hair of his he managed to hide his face, he just wanted to cry in silence without anyone knew. Yet, a tear couldn’t even come. His heart ached so bad. He bit his lip hard to hold the desire to scream. It started to bleed. He didn’t care much about the pain but he wiped the blood with his left hand, while the other hand still holding a pack of blood for his one and only best friend. For the only person who always trusted and thought so highly of him, who always said he could do anything when he tried. The same person whom he would support forever, no matter how much hardship he would get even more because of that. He just didn’t want to lose him, his Rinne-kun.

(Rinne-kun.. I don’t know where your soul is now.. But I hope you can hear my thoughts from somewhere. It’s true that I saved you once, but then you saved me too. I was almost died. So I will never forget that. You.. give some meaning to this useless, hard life of mine. I have fun since you came to my life.. I couldn’t possibly having so much fun if I didn’t meet you back then.. even until now.. Sometimes you’re really hard to understand, you still do.. but you are so dear to me. That's why.. please, I'm begging you.. don't give up. The one who always tried so hard is you.. I’ve been watching you so I know that very well. Please try your hardest too this time.. fight this too, Rinne-kun.. I want to keep making some bittersweet memories with you. And I told you, that I promised myself I will take care of you. It's a lifetime promise, you know... I want to support you, forever. I.. love you... It’s okay for me to keep holding on to this feeling too, right? Please come back.. You are the reason why I can keep on living..)

Niki, overwhelmed by emotions inside his head. He couldn’t say it out loud, but that was all he felt since he met Rinne.


	8. Connecting The Dots

Ever since the paramedics came, Anzu gave them her spot. A moment after, a staff came and told her that he still couldn’t find the medic staffs. She was surprised because that was really unusual. Rinne was in good hands with the paramedics, Crazy:B members, Hiiro, and Chiaki so she decided to leave and go to the backstage to address the matter. Subaru and Makoto heard about what they talked. They decided to help her along with Mao and Hokuto who later joined them after they were done taking care of the audience. Mao said he also needed to find Ritsu because he somehow lost contact with him since hours ago.

Together they checked the medical room first, and it was indeed empty, only some of their belongings were still there. Anzu made some phone calls for them and as she expected, they didn’t answer. She also sent some chats to her colleagues in group chats, asking if they possibly knew where they were, or saw them somewhere. Some of them replied fast and said they had no clue, but they indeed saw them earlier today. She was worried even more.

At the same time, Rei was at the backstage and still couldn’t find Ritsu. He called Ritsu’s number and the other idols whom he thought would know where he was, but no answer. He understood though. In this chaotic situation they probably wouldn’t be holding their phones that much. Thankfully later Mao answered his call and said he currently searching for him too. Rei continued to look for him and started to move to see rooms and hallways. Some places were done checked, but no result of Ritsu.

Anzu was running in a hallway and she accidentally bumped into someone. It was Rei. She apologized, saying that she was in a hurry. Behind her Trickstar were catching up to her.

“Ah! Sakuma-senpai! Glad meeting you here. Should we find Ritsu together?”

Mao greeted Rei casually. He thought it would be a good idea to find Ritsu together with his brother.

“Oh, Isara-kun. Yes. I think so too. Let’s stick together. But first, what happened, Jo-chan? How is Rinne Amagi-san? Didn’t you by his side with the others?” 

Rei asked her what was the matter this time and why she left the stage.

Anzu explained the current situation, including why she was in a hurry.

Rei was worried even more. He suggested them to find the medic staffs together while also looking for Ritsu. The worst thing he could think was there was another criminal wandering in ES building. He really wished that wasn’t the case. 

After some time searching, finally they found Ritsu. Rei was the first who could recognize the sight of him. Ritsu was lying on the floor near a door in a quiet, dim, and empty hallway.

“Ritsu! Aah.. Hey, Ritsu! This is Onii-chan. Can you please wake up, Ritsu?

Rei was panicked he began inspecting if Ritsu was hurt somewhere. He was thankful he wasn’t hurt anywhere around his body so he thought he just fell asleep. He was still really worried as he wondered what Ritsu did in this hallway. He shook him lightly, tried to wake him up once more.

“Ritsu, hey.. wake up..? Onii-chan wants to know what happened and why are you here?”

Yet Ritsu kept not waking up. He was in deep sleep. Rei could feel him breathed so relaxed as if he was so tired after doing a live.

“Ah.. This can’t be helped. I’ll carry you then. I’m so glad you are alright, Ritsu.”

He slightly ruffled Ritsu’s hair while whispering that to him. He let him sleeping then carried him on his back. He was really glad he finally found him. He didn’t know what to do if something bad happened to his dearest younger brother.

Mao was panicking too. He helped Rei when he lightly examined him and after that he let the older brother taking care of him. If Rei wasn’t there, surely he would be the one who carried him.

Anzu was worried but she was relieved. She tried to think about the root cause of why Ritsu was sleeping here. He looked around and noticed something. Ritsu was lying near a door. And they hadn’t checked that room yet ever since they found Ritsu. She still had to look for the medic staffs. 

“ _Minna,_ shall we check this room? We haven’t looked into a room since we found Ritsu. And I don’t know how to say it.. This room is unnamed, looks suspicious. And the fact that we found Ritsu sleeping here.. is rather.. Strange.”

Anzu said that and pointed out a door nearby.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

“You are right. I, too, wonder about it. Let me open the room this time. Just stay behind me, Producer.”

Hokuto said it while he already walked near the room. He opened the door slowly. Even though the room seemed empty he didn’t forget to knock and say “excuse me” before that.

Rei with Ritsu on his back and the other Trickstar members were behind him, with Anzu being the one at the back, anticipated.

The door could be opened, showed them a room not lighted up. But there was a dim light from the window. Despite that the room was basically dark. It was also late at night at that time.

Hokuto walked slowly near the wall to find a light switch but he stopped suddenly when he felt he kicked something.

“Agh! What in the world… Uwaaa!”

He said in shock.

“ _Minn_ a _!_ Come here!”

He asked the others to come near him.

All of them came but before arriving they stopped for a moment.

It was the medic staffs. They found them. Those two people, male and female, sitting unconsciously side by side, heads down, with their hands and mouths tied with white cloths. Near them there were also their bags, containing medicines and such.

“Oh no.. I wonder what just happened here?! Please be alright, guys!”

Anzu said while continued walking fast to get close to them.

Hokuto and the others except Rei followed her. They started untying them.

Anzu handled her friend, the female staff, helped by Makoto. She carefully rested her back to the wall and patted her cheek to wake her up.

Hokuto and Mao who took care of the other one did the same.

After some seconds they woke up, confused.

Anzu asked them some questions and explained them that something bad happened. They needed their help but couldn’t find them. She also said they were so glad they finally found them. She wanted to know how they ended up being here unconscious and if they were injured. She basically needed explanation.

The female medic still looked sleepy but she answered Anzu.

“Mmmh.. that is really bad. Oh no.. please forgive us… And to answer your question, I actually, don’t know.. as I can remember.. We had late lunch, chitchatting in the cafeteria and later when we about to go back to medic room, someone came to us asking help. Then we came here with that someone, who said he found an injured person and needed our help, that’s why we wanted to help him.. we got here with his guidance and after that.. I don’t quite remember..”

The male medic added, 

“Uhm, I think I remember we were somehow confused while trying to find the injured person because we only found this empty room, with just the three of us. Probably we fell asleep after that.. I feel so sleepy even now.. Oh..! I think we were sedated by him?! But I guess we’re not injured. I’m just having a slight headache though. But again, we really are sorry.. Anzu-san.. everyone..”

Anzu was shocked by that but she also said they were forgiven since they were also victims in this tragedy. She asked them not to feel bad and explained about Rinne was currently being taken by the paramedics from ambulance so they didn’t need to worry about it. 

Rei was shocked too. With him still carried sleeping Ritsu, he got some thoughts inside his head. He could remain calm even though he was really surprised with today’s phenomenon.

“Ahh. So that’s what happened.. Well well.. Then this is a very nice-planned attempt of murder. Amagi Rinne-san.. your sin as an idol should be forgiven since you are also a victim.. And yet there are people who still can’t forgive you and did this to you.

I truly hope he can survive, from the bottom of my heart.

Also medic staffs-san.. We relieved you two are all right.. But please examine yourselves more thoroughly after this. Just in case..”

The demon king started his speech.

“And you, Ritsu.. Onii-chan will hear your story later. In the name of the God I really am grateful to see you sleeping cutely, peacefully like this.. on my back..”

Rei whispered softly with his face very close to Ritsu’s. His love for his younger brother was surged. 

“As for us, let’s all leave this room as soon as possible. Let’s go back. Please help them with anything, Trickstar..” 

He added and did a head gesture for Trickstar to point out that the two puzzled medic staffs right there might need their help.

Hokuto, Mao, Subaru, and Makoto were just fallen speechless after hearing the discussion. They also looked puzzled but they agreed with their _senpai_. They helped them immediately as soon as they regained all of their senses.

* * *

Back to the stage, two police officers arrived later than the paramedics.

Ibara assisted them and guided them to see the culprit.

They came closer to Kohaku, Madara, and the bodyguard who kept the criminal’s under control, on the corner of the left stage.

As if he was a wild animal that fell into a trap, the man still tried to get away.

The police officers began their job and were finally able to fully restrain him.

Kohaku, who made contact with him right after Rinne was stabbed, flooded with lots of questions from one of the officers. Despite worrying about his Rinne-han inside his head, he answered them in detail. So it took some time for him to finish.

The questions were still many. Yet Kohaku couldn’t hide his worried look on his face even more. He also slightly heard some yells from Hiiro and it made him lost even more focus to answer them. 

Madara noticed. He was aware the questions were started to be quite general, he thought even he could answer them. He offered and ensured the police to ask him instead.

The officer was convinced by him.

“Kohaku-san, I’ll wrap this up. Go, to your unit, to Rinne-san. You are worried, right? I can read you quite well, yanno.”

Madara told Kohaku. He also patted his back and seriously looked him in the eyes.

Kohaku was blushing but he managed to hide it.

“Madara-han. Umm, ya.. sure about it? That’s true. I’m worried to death ever since I looked at Rinne-han collapsing..”

Madara answered just by nodded in certainty.

Kohaku looked at the officer with eyes full of resolve and said,

“If it’s ok for me to do this later, I’d like to help as much as I could, Officer-san. The victim is the leader of my unit. He was injured badly. I’m afraid.. if he..”

The police cut him by saying his ‘ok’ and let him go. He turned his attention to Madara.

Kohaku said his thanks and ran to get to his precious unit.

* * *

On the bloody stage, Wataru came close to Eichi who was still with Aira near the crime scene.

“Eichi. Are you alright? You seem lost in thoughts. This is not the best place to wonder, you know? How about going backstage and wait for updates there? I just finished handling some riot outside. Shitsuji-san and Hime-kun still handle some on another side. I know you feel responsible, but you look tired too”

Eichi cut him.

“Wataru, the one used to be my enemy. Thank you for taking care of me back then.” 

He just firmly said that while keeping his eyes on Rinne and the others.

Wataru was surprised by that. He blushed without Eichi knowing.

“What, looking at them getting you sentimental? Oh Eichi. You’re welcome then, always.”

Eichi was now looking at him, admiring Wataru’s soft smile for him. He was indeed feeling tired, but there was no way for him to just rest knowing Rinne’s condition hadn’t settled yet. He knew the works of paramedics so well, so he could just tell by just looking.

“Let me stay here until he gets to the stretcher, at least. I.. hope to see some miracle.. again. No.. It’s more proper to say, let’s wish for that, Wataru.”

Eichi said it calmly.

Wataru just amazed by Eichi, he was always. He gave him his ‘yes’ with sympathetic look and accompanied him watching Rinne’s struggle.

Aira, who overheard their conversations, wanted to scream inside his heart. He suddenly felt soft. He didn’t know much about _fine’s_ backstory. He got some new knowledge and he felt happy to see his _senpai_ being so close, showing some affection. He later realised that he worried about Hiiro by himself, without the other ALKALOID members. Yet he continued to be there and stand by for those brothers, in case they later needed more hands. He wanted to keep supporting Hiiro. He wished for his mental state to be ok inside his head. 

* * *

From the other side of the stage, Eden members except Ibara came to see the crime scene. Nagisa felt uncomfortable with so much people around, he just spotted Ibara and approached him while also calling him.

Ibara was surprised and yelled,

“Kakka! Stop there. Don’t come here. Hide, go back to our room. This situation is very bad. Please.”

Nagisa could feel that Ibara really meant it. But he refused to do what he said and kept walking.

Ibara couldn’t believe the sight. He asked the officers’ permission to excuse him for a moment. He promised them he would be back. He approached Nagisa and walked him back to go back to Eden’s greenroom in the backstage.

Hiyori and Jun got separated from Nagisa, they, especially Jun, were interested to take a peek of the people in circle that currently taking care of someone, none other than Rinne. They saw it and Jun suddenly shouted,

“Goddamn! How could this?! That, Rinne-san?!”

He was in shock and worried. A second after that he remembered of his Ohii-san beside him. He turned his head to see him.

“…”

Hiyori couldn’t say a word. He just looked so scared and surprised. He shuddered.

Jun noticed and hugged him in an instant.

“Ohii-san.. Don’t see it. You don’t need to see it, if you can’t handle it.”

Hiyori was still surprised, but he didn’t reject the sudden warm embrace he just got. He also could feel his face turned red by that. 

“Ah.. Nnn.. Sorry.. I was just.. What, what happened here.. I wonder.. Jun-kun..”

Jun didn’t let go and still covered Hiyori’s sight with his arms, while slowly led him to get away from there. Then he saw Ibara and Nagisa walking on his sight. He added, 

“I get you. I’m surprised too. But I’m sorry, it’s better for you to go backstage with Nagi-senpai and Ibara.. Look, there they are. As for me, I want to be here for some more. I’m kinda worried with Rinne-san. You see, I’m in the same club with him. For me he’s such a nice guy.”

Hiyori showing his look of concern, nodded at the end. And with assistance from Jun, he joined Ibara and Nagisa going back to Eden’s green room.

Jun went back and joined the crowd near Rinne.

“Rinne-san..”

Was all that he could say.


	9. Give Me Back My Life

All of a sudden, all white surrounding Rinne was now gone and it changed to a total darkness. This time he only could see black. His eyes opened, but he saw nothing except himself, because the fact of him wearing all white clothes. It was still quiet. He also still couldn’t make any voice.

A few seconds after, the ground was shaking, so strong until he fell and hit his head. He tried to stand up, only to feel the urge to vomit. He threw up once but nothing came out. But the sensation of something came out from his stomach was real. He was sweating a lot. He felt so sick and cold from it.

(Ughh.. Now what?! Can you stop torturing me for a second? Kami-sama?!)

Rinne begged again. He felt even more confused. He wanted to sleep it off, hoping when he woke up again he could forget all of it. If he didn’t wake up, then he would accept the possibility of his existence would be gone. He decided to lay down, closed his eyes trying to sleep, but he couldn’t. After some minutes he felt worse. He looked up and tried to think of anything to distract himself.

(Hhh I need some booze.. but like I could find it here. Damn it.)

He really didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t even think of anything. He reached his limit. He started to feel useless. He slapped his face hard so many times. He even hardly punched his stomach to test out his injury. He thought maybe he was actually hurt somewhere inside. Still, he was awake and didn’t feel anything major, only a little pain that someone strong like him could handle.

At this point he was stuck. He couldn’t bear the loneliness any longer. He wanted to just lose conscious or even go to heaven or hell, something that he didn’t care which one. He punched himself again and again, yet he still could handle the pain. It was all hurting him but it didn’t affect him much. Unexpectedly he realized a thing. He didn’t bleed nor get any scar from it. Again, he only could feel the sensation, but no impact on his body.

(What is this.. Please tell me.. I hope this is only a dream.. but this feels too real.. I can’t be here any longer.. Nothing to do.. No one is even here.. Somebody.. If there is a person in here.. Please.. Help me..)

He clenched his heart roughly, felt a stronger pain this time. He was physically and mentally tired, stressed out and desperate. He screamed endlessly without any single voice came out, yet he continued to do so. He finally felt exhausted so he tried to just hum something. He imagined the melody inside his head. He closed his eyes and hummed a song from the time when he was doing solo.

(Aa.. Why I pick this song… Doesn’t matter though. This was the song that I wrote to motivate Niki to come back, to be my partner again. I failed though. Haha. When my life was not a failure anyway? Kyahaha. Still, Niki said this was a good song. I feel happy even with just that small praise. Ahh, now I miss him. Stupid. I’m so stupid. Oy Niki, wherever you are, I hope you are ok. Don’t miss me, ok! Gyahaha. As if. His mind is only full of food..)

He wondered and he felt useless even more. Around this time he finally felt more sleepy, he was about to fall asleep, until suddenly he heard the warm voice again. He jolted and opened his eyes, tried to stand up immediately. He staggered since his head was still dizzy. He didn’t care about anything he kept trying to move to follow that voice.

(I hear it.. At last.. It’s coming again.. It’s for me.. I’m sure of it. This is the only thing I can hold on to here.. I want to hear it again.. I will find the source this time.. Wherever it is)

He said to himself while running unsteadily.

Following the voice was harder this time because of the darkness. He had to put most of his concentration on his hearing sense. He was lucky that the voice appeared longer than before. While he was also still feeling some pain, he tried his best to keep running straight. He blinked a few times to shake off the pain and gain more focus. All of a sudden he hit something and it made him fell, sitting position. He felt dizzy so he touched his head and closed his eyes in reflex. However, he realised that the voice was louder now and he was sure that he finally got the source. He was happy he finally found it. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled, ready to welcome the sight of someone who created the warm melody. He rubbed his eyes to clear his visions, looking up, and found that the darkness was gone and now becoming a room filled with dim light, he sat near a wooden door. He was shook to see someone seemed confused, looked down on him.

“Nnn, oh? Sir? You ok?”

That someone asked him.

He couldn’t hide his facial expression nor make any voice, he glared in surprise.

(Huh?! Wh…at?!)

He said inside his head.

He was really surprised to see that someone was himself in his traditional hometown clothes. Though it looked different from what he remembered because of the unusual pattern he saw on the clothes and headband. Also, that himself looked somehow more matured. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He was confused and couldn’t respond him, he just froze.

“Hmmhmhmm.. Mm? Nii-san, what is it? You talked to me?”

Someone was humming and suddenly stopped to ask that question. That voice was not far from him. He could hear it well yet he couldn’t get a hold to see the person.

(That voice.. Is it Hiiro?!)

And then the Rinne that he saw turned away from him to answer that voice.

“Ah, hm, _iya._ Don’t mind me. It’s just me talking to this person.”

He turned back to him after saying that.

“Sir, can you … Eh? Where?!”

That Rinne lost the sight of the person he saw before. He looked confused again.

The current Rinne, covered his mouth with his own hands, hiding himself. Soon after he saw that Rinne turned away from him, he crawled and went under the _engawa_ to hide. He was scared. He didn’t understand what happened. Yet he tried to keep listening to their conversation.

“A person? It’s only us here. Nii-san, are you okay? Are you hurt somewhere? Or are you tired? Want me to ask Shiina-san to make you something? If you are tired then let me help you with the rest. You said you’re almost done, right? Me too. My cute little nephew here is now sleeping because of me~ hehee. Ah! No, I talk too loud, he cutely yawned! Haha, really cute! But no, don’t wake up again, you have to sleep. Yoshh yoshh hmmmhmmmhmm”

“Ahaha, there you go again. You’re still overreacting, you know. Nah, don’t need any. I’m ok, and I’ve already told you that so many times. Ahn, you help me making him sleep, though. So I forgive you this time.. too. How many times has it until now? I wonder. Anyway, why can’t he sleep on his Dad’s hands in the first place?! I don’t get it.. I never get it.. I wanna sing him to sleep too~”

“Aight, he’s sleeping so soundly now, nice~ _Oyasuminasai_.. And to answer you, that’s probably because you don’t spend much time, Nii-san. It needs time. But it can’t be helped since you’re always busy taking care of everyone. That’s why his beloved uncle is here to help his father~ hm hmm. More importantly, Nii-san.. I told you so many times too that you shouldn’t overwork yourself. If I leave you, you will just continue working until so late. It could hurt you eventually, Nii-san.. You need your rest. You sure you don’t want something? Hot tea, no? Talk to me, Nii-san. I will help you with anything. I.. don’t want you to get hurt.. like.. that time.. I just don’t want to.. I never want to.. lose”

“Ahhh _hai hai…._ My bad.. Sorry.. No need to finish that. Yes I’m sure I don’t need anything. But really, I think I saw someone? Uhh, or you’re right.. maybe I’m just tired. Today’s conference was tough and it’s longer than scheduled. Well now that he is sleeping, just give him to his mom and you should sleep too, Hiiro. I will only continue some of these real quick then I’ll join them. Trust me.”

“Hmm? But I don’t want to move him yet. And ok, uh, no. I’m still worried. I’m sorry.. I’ll keep being here, watching you until you finish.. In this matter, you can’t be trusted.”

“Eehh?! What kind of _nii-san_ do you think I am? Ahh.. this poor _onii-chan.._ always get”

“My beloved, proud, unbelievable _nii-san,_ of course.”

“Y…ou… no need to answer me so seriously, though!? Hhh. Look, because I’m talking to you now, I haven’t continued these yet. Hahh”

“Hahaha. I’m sorry, Nii-san… I’m just telling you the truth. Well then, please continue, My Lord..”

“… … … What’s with the change of mood… … … Nn, Hiiro. Do you think I’m doing good enough?”

“You are the best we could ever ask for. _Otsukaresama,_ Nii-san. Ever since you've come back, slowly but sure, we are advancing. Rest assured. If anything, I will always be by your side. We, will. Remember?”

"... I see. ...”

"I always love that smile, why hiding it" 

"... I'm reading"

"I love you, Nii-san."

"..."

After that, it became quieter. Only some typing and flipped papers sound could be heard. A few seconds later, the humming started again. The sound was mixed between them.

The hiding Rinne, who heard all of their conversation since they started, felt even warmer, even though he was lying face down on cold ground.

(… What.. is that? This is like my house.. Are they, me and Hiiro? I’m seeing myself.. and he said Hiiro.. Myself said Hiiro. I heard it. And the other person? A baby? Dad, he said? I’m a father? I.. have a new family?! Also that voice.. That is really it.. The warm voice.. His melody.. I was right. It’s Hiiro’s voice.. He’s not calling for me.. He’s rather just, singing for us.. And what about Niki? He lived with us?!)

He stopped thinking for a while and just enjoyed the humming.

(Ah. This? I’m… crying?)

Tears landed on his hands. He gritted his teeth, sobbed in silence. His voice was still lost, so he managed not making any sound. He couldn’t stop the tears while he kept thinking inside his head.

(What should I do.. I want to go to him.. to Hiiro.. and to my, son.., if that is true. I want to see them.. Kami-sama, please.. If I could live like that.. I want that.. I want.. I want to live.. take me back to life.. take me back to see everyone.. No, wait. Is this really my life? I married someone? I think it's ok if I show myself now, asking what life, and when is this? Something like that. Just looking at myself was scared me like crazy, though.. But I must be brave. I need to know what this life is. I can't speak, but I will use anything to ask. Ok, I can do it.)

He sniffled and wiped his tears with his arms, getting ready. And just when he was slowly crawling back to get to the room, suddenly all changed to nothingness, everything he saw or heard was gone, along with a sharp pain pierced through his heart and strangled his throat. He couldn’t hold the pain, he gasped and finally lost consciousness.


	10. Endless Struggle

Seven minutes passed since the paramedics performed CPR for Rinne. It was a difficult situation, yet they refused to give up. Rinne was still young and every life is important so they had high hopes to save him.

Everyone kept watching them.

The paramedic leader felt some more pressure. He really wanted to save the life of this young man in front of him. He thought even harder about the way. He was still on doing the rescue breathing for Rinne while also doing a reassessing. When it’s his time to give some oxygen, he checked on Rinne’s chest and stomach using his stethoscope. His partner helped him moving it while he focused himself ventilating Rinne and listening to the sound of Rinne’s respiration from it. He had to be very aware of any detail about Rinne’s current condition. There was a moment he found something and he told his partner.

“Ah. We need to stop compressions. There’s air trapped. Pneumothorax. He needs decompression now.”

He said as he also gave an order to the other paramedic to give Rinne a second adrenaline through the IV.

His partner was about to resume compressions but after he heard it he nodded and listened to what he said. He slightly touched Rinne’s chest and realised that it was indeed tight. He began preparing decompression. He let out a large bore needle and started securing a spot on Rinne’s chest. After that he carefully pierced there in between the ribs. The trapped air was released and tension in Rinne’s chest was lessened. He removed the needle and kept the catheter there. He was now paying attention to the monitor to see if it could give some improvement to Rinne’s rhythm, yet it didn’t. His heart was still unable to pump blood properly. His heartbeat was slowing down unevenly.

The paramedics didn’t have a lot of time to think long for the next move.

Knowing that, the leader told his partner to resume chest compressions. He was also done checking on Rinne’s pulse and still none. Rinne’s heart was still beating only because of the manual compressions they did. He hoped decompressions could help Rinne’s heart beating normally again, but it hadn’t.

Some compressions were being given again and the paramedic who did it was sweating a lot now. It’s been a while since he did the compressions and his leader noticed. He was asked to switch positions. They counted in three and they switched. Fatigue would only worsen the situation and they did their best to prevent that from happening.

The paramedic who was mobile a lot was done giving Rinne the second adrenaline while also taking notes on every step they did. He was now moving to get the emergency stretcher he put on the corner since they arrived. He came back fast and getting ready to move Rinne. He quickly wiped some blood that still stained on the stage floor before that and placed the stretcher there.

Hiiro moved away to give the space. He got up and closer to Niki who was still holding the blood for Rinne using his left hand. Niki embraced him with his right hand. He wanted to comfort his best friend’s one and only family he had in the city. He was also aware that the situation was not something Hiiro could bear alone. They continued keeping their eyes on Rinne.

The paramedics worked together to move Rinne onto the stretcher and HiMERU said he would like to help them.

“ _Sumimasen._. If you need more hands..”

“Ah _hai._. _Sumimasen deshita._. Can you lift his legs? Please be sure to keep them tight and lift them together on my count”

The leader gladly accepted the offer and he asked him to be on Rinne’s legs. He himself was on Rinne’s side, in charge with his shoulders. The other paramedic was also on the same side in charge with his hip as he was also being very careful around the stomach where the injury occurred. And his partner who did the rescue breathing was the one stabilized Rinne's head. On the count of three from the leader they successfully lifted Rinne onto the stretcher. Soon after the paramedic leader resumed the compressions, with his partner continued ventilating Rinne.

Rinne was now on the stretcher. The paramedic who brought the stretcher adjusted the position to fit Rinne’s tall body. Then he took off Rinne’s shoes and socks and Rinne was now barefoot. He could feel that his feet were cold and lost some color, like his hands. He let out a blanket from his bag and put it on Rinne’s lower body to keep Rinne from cold without bothering his leader who did the compressions. After that he moved on to check on Rinne’s wound again. As he expected, it was still wet from the blood that still came out because the compressions, so he had to do something about it. 

“I’m going to control the bleeding again.”

He said as he began to roll out more gauze to tighten the pressure around the wound. Then he also secured Rinne’s lower body using two straps from the stretcher. One on Rinne’s feet and one near Rinne’s hip, right under the wound.

HiMERU asked if he should press the wound again, yet the paramedic said it didn’t needed anymore and he said his gratitude to HiMERU for lending hands. HiMERU nodded and he moved aside to be a bystander from now on.

Rinne was secured tightly on the stretcher. Yet his hands full of IVs were still drooping lifelessly off the stretcher.

“Amagi..”

HiMERU unconsciously said as he looked at him from a standing view now. He was so concerned. Somehow he remembered how Rinne often teased him and vice versa and he was afraid he was going to miss that. They just barely started knowing each other for short amount of time. He didn’t believe this happened right after Crazy:B had formed their bond again. But then he couldn’t do anything other than wishing his leader for the best. He could see that Rinne was suffering enough already. He let out a sad sigh and continued observing them. 

The paramedic leader was still doing the compressions. Again, when it’s the time for some breaths he did reassessing. Now he could do it without help from his partner. He felt another trapped air so he started to give a second decompression. He began to secure a spot on the other side of Rinne’s chest, and pierced that with another needle his partner prepared for him. Some more air was released from there and he managed to lessen another tension that Rinne had. He waited for some seconds while monitoring Rinne’s heartbeat while also searching for pulse on Rinne’s neck. He still hadn’t found it. He asked his partner to keep searching for pulse as he resumed the chest compressions.

They were all working in sync, to save Rinne’s life. 

Six minutes passed. A total of two decompressions and eight cycles of compressions were done. All of a sudden the AED made some noises. It started reanalyzing Rinne and asked no one to touch him.

All paramedics and everyone near him moved aside. They cleared some space for Rinne.

In seconds the machine made some noises again and said “Shock advice.”

Without further waiting the paramedic leader yelled to everyone who took care of Rinne to stay away for more from him, also telling Chiaki and Niki who held the fluid and the blood to put them on the floor. He looked around and yelled “All clear!” then he pushed the ‘shock’ button.

Rinne’s upper body was jolted because of the electric shock striking his heart. 

Hiiro was panic when he saw it, he yelled in reflex.

“Nii-san!”

Niki knew it was frightening. He tightened his embrace for Hiiro as he gently rubbed Hiiro’s right arm and said, “It’s ok..”

After that the paramedic leader came closer to check on Rinne’s condition. He searched for pulse and asked his partner to check Rinne’s breathing, Chiaki and Niki to pick up the fluid and blood again, and the other paramedic to give Rinne the third adrenaline.

The AED started to make some noises again, it said “Continue CPR.”

The paramedic leader sweating some more, knowing Rinne’s pulse was still yet to be found. He continued the chest compressions and asked his partner to keep ventilating Rinne.

* * *

Eichi was watching from afar with Aira and Wataru. He started to feel weak, he clenched his heart.

“Eichi! _Daijoubu desu ka_?”

Wataru yelled and looked at him while asking him.

Eichi looked pale as he answered,

“Ah umm. It’s alright. I just can’t see it anymore. The shock was just being given.. It must be hurting.. My chest started to feel tight too. _Ne,_ Wataru.. Why tonight’s MDM turned into something like this? I don’t want to spill blood, ever again… I don’t want to see anyone suffering again.. But now in front of us.. These brothers who just met have to experience this after their first performance together. ALKALOID, is indeed the unit I made to confront Crazy:B, yet I don’t want it to turn out like this.. Real blood.. I don’t expect this.. Is it all my fault, Wataru? How can I forgive myself? Can you help me finding the answer?”

Wataru was worried even more. He too, didn’t expect something like this happened. He didn’t want to complicate the situation and he was also concerned about Eichi’s health.

“I.. Uhh.. I’m sorry.. Eichi.. I don’t have any script for this.. I.. this.. One thing I know is, this is not your fault.. It’s no one’s fault. Not even Mr. Amagi Rinne himself.. You shouldn’t blame yourself for this.. Also.. They’re still trying, can’t you see it? The paramedics.. They’re not giving up yet. Like when you were on the brink of collapsing, they came to your rescue, and then you woke up again to start a new day, right? Are you saying you’re giving up, Eichi? Mr. Amagi is an idol too, like us. We have to believe in him.”

Eichi was just amazed by that. His eyes looked sparkled.

“Wataru.. Ahaha. You’re right.. Sorry.. I was shaken.. Yes, I want to keep believing.. Let’s protect these brothers’ smiles.. together, Wataru. If you don’t mind, will you share me some strength?”

Eichi said that and Wataru gladly offered his shoulder. Eichi put one hand on it and the other hand still on his heart. He started to breathe more calmly as he gripped Wataru’s shoulder, leaned some of his mass to him. They continued watching the paramedics taking care of Rinne and wished for the best.

* * *

Another two minutes passed. The AED made another noises asking no one to touch Rinne, and said “Reanalyzing rhythm”

For a few seconds the paramedics stopped doing anything and just waited for the AED to finish reanalyzing.

“Shock advice,” “Do not touch patient”, the AED shouted again.

The paramedic leader did the same like before. He yelled to everyone who took care of Rinne to stay away for more from him, also telling Chiaki and Niki who held the fluid and the blood to put them on the floor. When all was cleared he yelled and pushed the ‘shock’ button.

This time the joules escalated to 360. Rinne’s body was jolted again, slightly more than before. Fresh blood was formed on the gauze that covered his wound.

Hiiro couldn’t hide his fear anymore longer. He burned his face into Niki’s shoulder and cried. He kept saying “Nii-san.. Nii-san..”

Niki was sad. He let him and held him even tighter. He didn’t know what to say at this time. He kept on looking on Rinne as he stroked Hiiro’s back gently.

And then after some seconds the machine said “Stop CPR” and “No shock advice.”

The paramedics waited for a few seconds to continue doing what they thought they should do, under their leader’s lead. All of them were now in silence.

The paramedic leader still focused on Rinne and the monitor. It showed some PEA rhythm like before, but it started to get more rapid. He was done thinking, he asked his partner to check on Rinne’s breathing immediately and resumed rescue breathing if he still didn’t breathe. He asked the other paramedic to search for a pulse on Rinne's neck and wrist. He also asked Chiaki and Niki to get back the fluid and blood to be on higher place again. He himself started to reassess Rinne using his stethoscope.

The paramedic did what he was told. He moved the valve, trying to listen from the tube if Rinne had started breathing. After five seconds he was sure Rinne still hadn’t, he resumed the rescue breathing.

The other paramedic was actively searching for pulse. 

Chiaki and Niki continued their doing while also panicking inside their hearts. They both hoped for Rinne to come back, to fight to live again. Yet they didn't have the heart to see Rinne’s suffering any longer. 

Hiiro, still under Niki’s arm, turned his head again and looked back at his _nii-san._ He started to feel limp knowing him was still not changed and unmoving. Yet burning feelings surged inside his heart. He inhaled deeply, gathering some power and he suddenly, unexpectedly yelled with his eyes closed and fists clenched,

“Nii-san _aishiteiru!!_ _Modotte!!!_ _Kudasai_.. ughh hhhh”

He screamed with all his might at first and whispered at the end.

Everyone was surprised to hear that. Some started to squeal and the paramedics could hear it.

Niki was mesmerized by that spirit. He hugged him. He wanted to protect this little brother. And he couldn’t think of anything other than that. He bit his lip again and ruffled Hiiro’s hair. This time he abled to say,

“You’re doing great.. Rinne-kun must be so proud of you.. He loves you too..”

Listened to that, Hiiro started to sob _._ Niki hugged him tighter and felt that his shoulder was wet from the tears. 

A few seconds passed and the situation was somehow colder. The paramedics didn’t communicate much like before. They resumed their roles in more deep concentration.

One paramedic added more gauze to protect the wound, and kept an eye on it.

HiMERU had stopped giving some pressure to the wound because it wasn’t needed anymore. He stood near Chiaki on Rinne's right side now.

Suddenly Kohaku was walking fast to come closer to HiMERU. There he saw his Rinne-han was lying unconsciously on the stretcher.

“HiMERU-han! Hah hah. How’s …. Rinne..-han …?”

Kohaku said while trying to manage his own breathing. He was surprised to see the view in front of him. The blood that still stained and all the medical equipment there, from the machines and cables, made it looked even worse. Yet he wanted to know about his Rinne-han’s condition in more detail.

HiMERU was startled to see Kohaku. But deep down he was relieved Kohaku was all right.

“Oukawa. It’s... As you can see.. HiMERU can’t say anything..”

Kohaku joined the group near Rinne now. He stayed close to HiMERU, waiting together to help the paramedics if they needed him. Hearing HiMERU said that, he only could give a depressing look and keep silent beside him. He clenched his fists. He once again felt angry for the man who did this to his Rinne-han. But he tried his best to put aside that feeling and focus on praying for his unit leader. 

“Listen to his breathing again and keep telling me how it is”

The paramedic leader examined Rinne’s chest using his stethoscope and asked his partner to recheck Rinne’s breathing.

His partner did it and later said, “Still no”

The leader replied, “Thought I heard some activity in his lungs. Keep listening more carefully and administer breath every five seconds”

His partner kept on giving Rinne some oxygen, and after that he tried to feel Rinne’s breathing again. He did it back and forth.

The other paramedic was still searching for pulse. He was on Rinne's right side, held his wrist.

Along with him the paramedic leader was also searching for pulse on Rinne's neck from Rinne's left side, and after some seconds he was startled.

“Ah! Got it...”

He said quietly to himself, and then he yelled and looked at everyone, firstly to Hiiro.

“I found pulse! We got him..”

Everyone near Rinne was surprised by that. Some of them murmured and chattered. Some of them even cried even louder out of happiness.

“… uh?”

Hiiro turned his head down with eyes closed just a while ago under Niki’s hug but after he heard it he turned his head up to see the paramedic leader and stared at Rinne. He suddenly became speechless.

Niki was not much different. He didn’t say any word he just put all attention to them.

“But I still don’t feel any breathing,”

The paramedic who did the rescue breathing reported.

The leader told him to keep ventilating Rinne. He was still nervous yet he had to remain calm. He also asked his other partner to keep on counting Rinne’s pulse on the neck as he had to call the hospital to explain the situation so they could start preparing for emergency surgery, including the OR, examinations, and so on, while waiting for them to arrive.

The three of them were still on alert. Even though Rinne’s pulse had gotten back, he hadn’t started breathing. They kept on giving rescue breathing and monitoring everything. More beeping sounds and activities could be found on the monitor, although all of it was still unstable. 

“ _Yossh!_ Amagi Rinne-kun.. That’s really great. Really! Ahhh!”

Chiaki couldn’t hold his relief. He smiled and let out a tear when saying that and wiped it with one hand.

Niki was still surprised. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. His mouth was slightly opened in surprise and he unconsciously took off his arm from Hiiro and let him go off his embrace. After some seconds his senses were back, he finally could cry, tears fell slowly out of happiness. He wiped his eyes, laughed a little and said softly,

“Nahaha.. Rinne-kun.. you beast.. you.. are back.. _Yokattassu.._ ”

HiMERU and Kohaku were surprised too. They somehow looked at each other and at the same time let out a relieved smile and slightly chuckled.

Hiiro, still amazed by the fact that his Nii-san had come back, he just froze. He couldn’t fathom all the paramedic said. As he felt the hold from Niki was gone, he dragged his feet to get close to his Nii-san and fell down on his knees. He continued to hold Rinne’s left hand in his hands. He put a thumb on the wrist and then he truly felt it. He could feel some weak pulse in that pale hand. It’s also not that cold like before. It started to feel more alive. He realised everything now. His beloved _nii-san_ had really come back. Yet he needed more time to process it.

“ _A.. arigatou_..”

He couldn’t say anything other than that. He closed his eyes showing his relief, some tear rolled down his face. 

* * *

After two minutes was still being given some rescue breaths, Rinne spontaneously woke up and tried to breathe. His eyes slowly opened as he felt extremely dizzy and nauseous.

“Nnhh.. Ughh?!”

Rinne’s heart beat faster as he let out a frail retch.

“Ah! Welcome back! _Daijobu desu.._ We are here to help you..”

The paramedic leader paused talking with the hospital staff, he welcomed Rinne instead as he slightly rubbed Rinne’s right shoulder to calm him. He was really surprised to see him waking up. He hoped that was a good sign. He immediately asked his partner to prepare some morphine for Rinne, knowing Rinne would feel the pain sooner or later. A patient didn’t usually wake up that fast after an arrest. He concluded that Rinne was kind of resistant to sedative drug that they gave when they intubated him.

The paramedic who was in charge with Rinne’s breathing was surprised too. He took off the valve to ensure Rinne breathed easier. 

“Ngh.. hhh.. unnhh. Gughh”

Rinne inhaled another breath and then exhaled yet he ended up vomiting some blood, despite still attached to the tube. He couldn’t hold it. He also didn’t have the energy to do so. He writhed in pain with his eyes opened and closed weakly against his will. He winced every second he took a breath. Blood was running down from his mouth to the straps that secured the tube to his chin and then neck. Now the white straps became red because of that. 

“ _Ii yo._. _Daijoubu desu.._ Don’t hold it.. We’ll position you slightly to the side. _Sumimasen ne_ ”

The paramedic leader said that gently to Rinne. He slightly leaned Rinne’s head and then shoulder to his left side and softly stroked his back to comfort him. He couldn’t move Rinne’s body much because of the injury. He didn’t want to worsen the wound. He still yet to know how bad he also suffered internal bleeding. Knowing that he was now vomiting blood, he questioned inside his head whether it was also part of his ROSC or it was a complication from the CPR, or it was simply because of the wound. He really needed to be taken to the hospital as soon as possible for further examination.

At the same time, the other paramedic was done giving Rinne some painkiller through the IV. He continued to take notes and was now the one talking to the hospital staff. He explained everything he could and kept reporting the situation.

“Guhh! Nn hah hah hah nnhah hah aghhh”

Rinne vomited again and he was hyperventilating. He was anxious. He didn’t feel comfortable breathing and vomiting and having a tube inside his throat all together. 

_"_ Un _gomenasai.._ We’ll take it out. Just breath first for now.. Slowly.. You can do it..” 

The paramedic leader said as he was aware Rinne was still attached to the tube while also vomiting, and worse he was panicking even now. He first took off the straps from around the back of his head.

The other paramedic helped his leader to lean Rinne. They let him cleared everything that disturbed his airway.

“It’ll be done in a second.. _Sumimasen.._ I’m taking this out now.. I need you to keep breathing, inhale deeply, slowly.. ”

The paramedic leader said that as he waited a moment for Rinne to breathe slower. After two breaths he got it so he quickly and carefully taking out the tube from Rinne’s throat. With help from the other paramedic, he changed it to standard BVM. He put the mask on Rinne’s nose and mouth even though Rinne was still vomiting. Since Rinne had started breathing with his own, they had to change it. But his oxygen level in his brain was low. He still needed some help to breathe normally.

Rinne was choked by that, he winced even more as he threw up even more blood. He couldn’t stop his body from shaking weakly, uncontrollably.

Hiiro who held his left hand could feel it. His beloved Nii-san was suffering. He felt heartbroken seeing that, yet he kept looking at him and tightened his grip while stroking it gently to comfort him.

After the tube was taken out Rinne felt more ease to breathe. But ever since he woke up, he didn’t understand a thing. He only let his body took control of him. His eyes slightly opened once in a while, though he barely saw a thing. Everything was hazy. He also heard voices, but it was distorted, as if he was drowned in deep sea. All he knew was just pain, mostly on his chest. It’s burning and he couldn’t do anything about it. He continued to try to breathe, while his body also forced him to heave.

“Nnh.. arghhkhh”

Rinne gagged once again but he felt slightly more comfortable after that. The weird thing he felt blocking his way to breathe finally came to an end. He felt so worn out and still very dizzy, but around this time he was slowly aware that he was held by someone.

More blood was scattered on the stage floor near Rinne’s head.

 _“Daijobu…_ Keep breathing.. _Hai,_ like that.. You’re doing better.. Don’t worry.. We got you.. Hang in there..”

The paramedic leader said it with more soothing voice. He knew Rinne was in so much pain.

His partner assisted him. Now he carefully sucked some blood that probably still disturbed Rinne’s airway using suction when he felt Rinne had calmed down a little bit and stopped hyperventilated his self. He did it back and forth while giving him some oxygen from the BVM.

After some seconds and Rinne had completely stopped vomiting, the paramedic leader moved Rinne’s head back to normal position. His partner still suctioned him and breathed him. A minute passed and he was done, he focused only on helping him breathed.

His leader then tried to communicate with Rinne. He asked about his name to check on the level of his consciousness. 

But Rinne was barely conscious. He didn’t answer nor respond anything asked to him. He couldn’t even move any of his limbs by his will. He was aware of his breathing since every breath he took was hurting him. He was aware someone was taking care of him, yet he didn’t really aware of his surroundings. His pulse improved bit by bit, but he couldn’t bring himself to bear the pain and stay awake. He stole a glance on a small red view in his tunnel vision, because somehow it felt so warm and familiar, and then he passed out.

“Nngh.. _Okaerinasai.._ Nii-san _.. honto ni.. Ikiteiru.._ mmhhh. _Arigatou..”_

Rinne didn’t know that it was Hiiro, who gently said that and also smiled while crying softly. Hiiro was sad to see his _nii-san_ struggled to just breathe yet he was happy to see him breathing again. He intertwined his fingers on his hand now. His tearful eyes looked at him in the eyes.

After Rinne passed out Hiiro was asked to move aside to give some more space for paramedics. They continued to make sure that Rinne was breathing and prepared Rinne to get in the ambulance as soon as possible. Rinne still could possibly suffer another cardiac arrest if he didn’t take care of him properly.

But over that matter, everyone was relieved.

The rest of Crazy:B members, Chiaki, and mostly Hiiro, couldn’t be more grateful to see the view in front of them. Hiiro especially, was smart enough to think one step ahead. He came to realise that this was not the end but just a beginning of his _nii-san_ ’s new life. His _nii-san_ would continue his struggle to live, and he promised himself that from now on he would always be by his side to accompany him through all of that.

Rinne just came back to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah.. Hi!  
> It's been a while since I left a note.  
> Hehe, I finally reached half of my story...  
> I can't believe it.. I thought I would only write 3-5 chapters, yet I can't write a little.. Haha.  
> How was it? Do you want me to continue? However I want to keep continuing this, hopefully  
> I was absent for a while before because I had my own surgery. It was a minor surgery but I had to receive general anesthesia. It was so cold in the OR. All alone with just doctors and nurses. I couldn't stop shaking and feeling nervous lol, and then I was out. When I woke up I was seeing a glimpse of important person in my life (though that person wasn't actually there) and even one of my best 2D charas (sadly it wasn't Rinne I don't know why haha) then I was out once again. I fully woke up after that and some hours skipped without me knowing. The feeling was different with sleeping, still.  
> Anyway, I'm doing alright and I'm happy making this. It's like I'm back writing a thesis again. Lol. I want to continue my study too. So this is a good start for me, I guess.  
> Ah! If you noticed, I deleted some of the ships tags. Though all of them were my favorite ships and I will keep having them involved, my story is basically about Rinne and Hiiro. So I decided to take some of them down since I don't want to confuse people. If it's better for me to put them back, It'd be nice if you could tell me about it!!  
> And hmm.. I see my 'hits' is quite many.. I really didn't expect that. Is it because of the chapters are many? Do you really read my long writing? Anyway I feel so thankful.. You are the best. Thank you for all kudos, once again, thank you for even reading my story.. God bless you all in this blessed month! End of 2020... Wow?! We are awesome! 
> 
> Also, Rinne's feature scout is starting today!! Are you pulling for him? Yes? No? Whatever just good luck!! I hope the hot crazy gambler we love will be nice to all of you who pulls!! And we all will have a nice date with him~  
> *update* the card is a perfection.. omg the SPP!?! Awesome!! The story is fun and sweet!!! And the costume too.. ahh just cool!!  
> Thank you, HappyEle. Thank you for coming home, Rinne 
> 
> As always!!! Kudos are always appreciated.. Any comment is allowed.. Thank you for reading my weird story!  
> Please stop if it affected you negatively. I never mean harm even since this was only in my head  
> Don't forget to take care of yourself  
> Till we meet again! Keep safe!
> 
> -Erin


	11. Exhausted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone! Welcome 2021!  
> I hope you guys have a nice new year.
> 
> Did you join the countdown with Enstars?  
> It was great, wasn't it? :)  
> The stage and all the counting.. really nice!
> 
> Also.. I updated this today (still 1/4), means,  
> Happy birthday, Amagi Hiiro!!  
> Rinne celebrated his birthday in the hallway. How cute is that..  
> These brothers, really make me fall so deep into Enstars.  
> I'm sorry.. for doing this in Hiiro's birthday.  
> But, I hope you enjoy and keep waiting for me to update this story once in a while.  
> Things getting full in my hands, but I'm trying to keep this my top priority.  
> Writing is fun! It always is.
> 
> See ya and stay safe!
> 
> -Erin

Rinne had fallen unconscious once again. But he’s now breathing and got beating heart. 

All paramedics continued preparing Rinne to be taken to the ambulance. The paramedic leader put a cervical collar on him to immobilize Rinne’s cervical spine, since the trauma Rinne had was probably worse than he thought after he saw him vomiting. He had to prevent some more injury, mostly to his brain.

Rinne was all set on the stretcher and ready to be lifted. But they had to get out from the stage first and that alone needed some hard work. The paramedic leader asked Chiaki and Niki to keep assisting them because Rinne was still needed to get the IV fluid and blood on their way to go outside the hall. Both were glad they could help and started following the paramedics. All of them were moving together very carefully, especially when walking down the stage since they had to through some stairs.

Some staffs and ES idols teared up when they could see Rinne from up close when he was being moved.

“Rinne-kun.. Please be alright.. we love you so much..”

Some fans who still there said that while crying. They tried to get closer to him and called his name when paramedics and the others carrying Rinne walked in front of them.

“Rinne-kun.. Rinne-kun.. Rinne-kun..,” all the callings just didn’t stop.

Some staffs made some way and blocked the audience’s way to get close to him. But they also politely said thanks for their utmost care to Rinne. 

When the paramedics got outside the hall, they lifted Rinne and the stretcher onto the trolley. They thanked Chiaki and Niki for all the help they got. One of them took over their roles. One paramedic was keep giving Rinne the oxygen he needed. The paramedic leader focused on the bed side. They all started pushing until they got to the ambulance which was located outside the building.

* * *

A few minutes prior to that, Hiiro was still relieved, yet he began feeling nervous again after seeing his beloved brother passed out again. He was so worried about his _nii-san_ ’s condition even though he was slightly feeling calm to hear all the paramedics’ talks, that his Nii-san was unconscious but breathing and showing some sign of living. Without a doubt, Hiiro would really give his life if it means saving the life of his _nii-san_. The thought of losing him was too painful. He still had the thought that he was born to assist him. Indeed, now he got a new dream by becoming an idol together with him. But he would never forget his _nii-san_ ’s said about willing to come back home eventually. That would be the time when he would finally assist him. As for now he wanted to enjoy the time in the city with him. He wanted him to be happy. He didn’t want to force him to come home anymore.

Suddenly he felt depressed. He wondered why Kami-sama did this to them now of all time? When he just finally saw his _nii-san_ smiled again and came back being his self, like how he used to be. After they got to get close and catch up again after so long. He felt everything was almost crushed when he saw him on the verge of dying, and it was merely because of one insignificant human being, same creature as them.

Hiiro was lost in thoughts. He was a little bit tired. Even he wasn’t aware that Rinne had being moved to get into the ambulance.

Before going out to follow the paramedics, Niki asked HiMERU to take care of Hiiro. So when HiMERU saw him zoning out, he was about to get close to him and ask what he needed, until Aira came and got to Hiiro’s side first. HiMERU knew Aira was Hiiro’s friend so he let him.

Aira touched Hiiro’s shoulder gently and said calmly,

“Hiiro-kun.. I’m so glad.. Rinne-senpai is saved.. Are you alright? I’m here if you need anything, you know”

Hiiro was startled as he turned to see him. He knew it was Aira even without him looking. When he turned he also saw the sight of Madara and police officers carrying the culprit of his _nii-san_ ’s attempt murder, to force him to get into the police car. One officer held the knife that was used to stab Rinne inside a plastic bag and he saw that. He thought that somehow the handle looked like a penlight. Hiiro stared and noticed that his _nii-san_ ’s blood was still stained. He realized now why his beloved older brother wasn’t aware of the attack. It was a surprise attack with special weapon. Hiiro had never won even a single combat with his _nii-san._ So he always knew about Rinne mastering the martial art far way better than him. He was so surprised that his _nii-san_ was collapsed and didn’t even defend himself by attacking back. But then he understood that must be because his _nii-san_ didn’t have the heart to harm his fan.

He glanced at the man who stabbed his beloved brother, his heart was boiling. With a lightning speed Hiiro let his feet rushed to him. His hands roughly grabbed his collar. Hiiro was burning with anger. He came to a realization that he was so focused on trying to keep his brother’s alive, helping and treating his wound without even looking at the man who did it to him. Now that he was in front of him, he couldn’t care less with anything other than that.

“You! How could you?! I’ll destroy you!!”

Hiiro screamed, his hands still gripped the man’s collar as he pushed harder to the throat this time. Aquatic orbs glared like an angry wolf, but swollen and wet from crying earlier. Hiiro knew it was bad to do it in front of people but he couldn’t suppress his feelings.

Some people yelled. They were afraid Hiiro would really kill the man on the spot.

The man was choked and gasped for air. Yet he still remained strong and tried to speak,

“Uugghh, he, ki..lled, my... daughter. Kkkhhh,” said him. 

Hiiro was gritting his teeth and glaring even more than before.

“No! Nii-san wouldn’t do something like that! How could you do that to him!..,” Hiiro answered.

Kohaku understood so well about the anger that Hiiro currently felt but he also knew that his Rinne-han wouldn’t want his younger brother killed a man, whatever the reason, moreover if the reason was him.

“Hiiro-han, I understand how ya feel but please get yerself together. Rinne-han needs ya the most right now rather than this fool.”

Kohaku was so concerned. He grabbed Hiiro’s strong grip and tried to move it from the man’s neck but he didn’t success.

At the same time Aira also rushed to him, trying to calm him.

“Hiiro-kun! Rinne-senpai is now being taken to the ambulance. Don’t you want to be with him?! Hiiro-kun..”

“Calm down, we’re gonna take care of this case,” one police officer also tried to separate the two and told him that.

Hiiro was surprised, his grip was loosened. He heard all of those and realized he wasn’t thinking straight, he was only blinded by anger. He also realized that he left his brother’s side and almost losing him, again. Hiiro just promised himself that he didn’t want to leave his older brother’s side ever again, yet he just did it. While still glaring he let the man off of him. The man coughed and got restrained again by the police officers.

“Chh! You’re right. Thanks Oukawa-senpai, Aira. Sorry, officer-san. Please. I’m counting on you. Justice needs to be done. My brother wouldn't do that. Nii-san is kind. He always is.”

Hiiro was still angry but he thanked them for making him got back to his senses and decided to trust the police officer. He hurriedly left to chase the paramedics and got in the ambulance to be by his _nii-san_ ’s side.

* * *

Chiaki and Niki got back inside. Kanata and the other members of Ryuseitai came closer to Chiaki. They asked if he was all right. Chiaki ensured them that he was okay. He was also said his relief seeing them doing all fine. Tetora offered him some water and asked about his next plan.

“We’re glad, Taichou! Here, we brought you water and towel.. Also what are we going to do after this?”

“Ah! You saved me. _Arigatou,_ Nagumo”

Chiaki gulped down the water fast. He was exhausted from taking care of Rinne earlier.

“About that, I’m planning to come to the hospital as well. I was taking care of him. I want to know until he is stable. Also, we were the ones who forced him to come back here, to be on stage again. Right? Kanata? So I feel responsible.”

He added and looked at Kanata.

Kanata was surprised by the answer. He frowned and slightly nodded.

“You’re right.. Want me to accompany you? I also feel responsible..” he said.

“Thanks! But nah, no need. Just me is okay. You guys should just end the day. I’ll keep you updated. OK! _Yosh!_ Take care on the way, alright? _Ja mata!_ ”

Chiaki said with confidence. He said he got to get going as he approached Niki on the other side of the stage.

Niki currently got closer to HiMERU and Kohaku and they gathered, discussed about following the ambulance to go to the hospital where Rinne was taken to. Suddenly Ibara joined in the conversation and said he already prepared a limo so they could use it as soon as possible. He also said he would go there as well after he finished taking care for some other things. Chiaki heard and asked if he could join them. Ibara let him. The four said their thanks and got ready to find the limo.

The rest of ALKALOID members were worried for Hiiro, mostly Aira. He wanted to keep him a company but he knew ambulance was only allowed for one person. Aira was calling Tatsumi who was on the backstage with Mayoi and together thinking of a way to support Hiiro, then later heard by Eichi. He praised them because they showed some concern for their friend but he suggested that it’s better for them to rest and go there tomorrow, knowing Tatsumi’s leg was still hurting and Mayoi was still shaking. Aira made a long face after he heard Eichi’s said since he was worried sick for Hiiro. Eichi noticed about Aira’s feelings and offered a hand,

“Oh, it can’t be helped. I will ask Yuzuru to prepare a car for you, Aira, if you are okay and want to go to the hospital for Hiiro.”

Ibara was walking near them and heard it. He offered Eichi an option, saying that Aira could just join in his car with Crazy:B members and Chiaki. Eichi was pleased with that and thanked Ibara for it. He also explained that he was responsible to support Hiiro as the representative of Starmaker Production. In fact he wanted to go to the hospital too but it was already late and his body was starting to yell, yearning for some rest. He left a message to Aira that he should call Yuzuru if he or Hiiro needed anything.

“I will!! Thank you very much, Eichi-senpai!! And uhh.. Ibara-senpai!”

Aira said it nervously and bowed as he rushed to find Crazy:B members and Chiaki-senpai. He found them and they went together to get in the limo to follow the ambulance.

* * *

Inside the ambulance, Rinne was being taken care of with all the machines and cables connected to the ambulance. His condition was still unstable, thus the paramedics tried their best to stabilize him. One paramedic started driving. The paramedic leader was on his phone, continued explaining the situation to the hospital they currently head to. His partner was kept on attending Rinne.

Hiiro was sitting beside Rinne’s bed. He was nervous and couldn't hide the fact that he was amazed by this ambulance. This was the first time for him to see a car filled with so many things, medical equipments with so high in technology. Also he was so relieved his Nii-san was getting the help he needed. Then he stared at Rinne and hold his weak right hand, while seeing one paramedic worked hard to take care of Rinne even in this tight place and moving situation.

Around this time, Rinne woke up and slowly opened his eyes. He was trying to look around him, addressing the situation. He was called by the paramedic and was asked if he knew his own name, and if he understood anything, but Rinne just stared blankly to see Hiiro. He tried to squeeze his hand gently with all the energy he had. He didn’t answer the questions given to him. His face looked painful and confused.

“Nii-san! You’re awake.. Don't worry.. You’re going to be alright..”

Hiiro said as he could see Rinne waking up and looking at him. He could also feel the gentle and shaking squeeze he got. He caressed the back of his _nii-san’s_ hand until he felt the squeeze was no longer present. 

Rinne was breathing as much as he could through the oxygen mask over his face that now attached with the oxygen from the ambulance. He heard what Hiiro said yet he didn’t have any energy to say anything. He couldn’t form any word. He realized that this was just another exhausting moment that he had felt for countless time today. He frowned because he also felt some pain all over his body. And with all paramedics’ shouts, he thought that this place was so noisy. He felt dizzy and nauseous again but his brain let it pass this time. He just randomly stared at Hiiro and the paramedic until he felt his energy was drained again. He decided to close his eyes and concentrate to just breathe. But the breath he took was so hurting once in a while. It was suffocating. He wondered how bad his body was injured until it made him like this. He kept thinking that he was just a fool, that he was just better die if all he did was just causing pain for others. He put so much stress on him, he couldn’t hear any of the paramedic or Hiiro ‘s said anymore. He started to feel hard to breathe again.

Rinne was falling into shock once again. His heart was beating fast in just some seconds.

“Hey.. Can you hear me? We are paramedics. You are injured and we're taking care of you. It’s ok.. you’re doing alright. Breathe slowly.. We will help you with the pain. Hang in there. We’ve almost arrived. Please respond if you can hear me..”

The paramedic said that. Yet Rinne was just blinking and panting, didn't say a word. 

“... This is not good. He’s not improving and unresponsive. Leader, his rhythm is up. Blood pressure is dropping. Temperature surged. He’s in shock again. If this keeps happening he would suffer another cardiac arrest. What should we do?” he added.

The paramedic leader was still on the phone but he heard what his partner said. He finished his call and now taking care of Rinne with him.

Some irregular sound from the machines was starting to form.

Hiiro heard all of their saying while also felt his _nii-san_ ’ _s_ hand in his was starting to feel so warm.

“No.. Nii-san.. Why is it? You were awake just a moment ago.. Nii-san.. What happened? Please be alright.. I’m begging you.. Nii-san..”

The ambulance was moving fast. It was shaking a lot but they had to keep on working to stabilize Rinne. Now that Rinne was having fever, he might suffer an infection from the wound. They had to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Rinne needed all the treatment there. Yet they had to make him more stable here first. They decided to give him some more medication into the second IV line on Rinne’s right hand.

Rinne was between on and off. He moaned in pain once in a while, and then fell unconscious.

Hiiro could only beg for him to get better and kept calling “Nii-san..” to calm him down.

Soon after, they arrived at the hospital. Some physicians had waited for them in front of the emergency door. The paramedics slowly pulled out Rinne from the ambulance. They worked together and did it gently yet in a fast speed. The blood and fluid were being held by them. They started pushing to go to the emergency room as soon as possible. Hiiro got out and one nurse guided him to wait in the waiting room as she began explaining that Rinne had to go through an emergency surgery. She ensured him that the best surgeons and doctors would do their best to save his beloved brother so he shouldn’t be worried too much and just pray for the best.

Hiiro was in silence. He was exhausted. He also felt heartbroken with the fact he couldn’t see his Nii-san's treatment. He wanted to be always by his side yet he couldn't help to just trust them. He nodded and was now sitting in the waiting room with face buried in his hands.


	12. Lucky to Have You by My Side

Crazy:B members with Chiaki and Aira were now inside the limo, following the ambulance. They were kept silent. No one got the urge to start a conversation. Until Kohaku was the one who couldn’t handle the situation after some minutes.

“Morisawa-han.. Can I ask ya somethin? Actually, why did ya help Rinne-han? I just wanna know. Is it because ya wanna play hero once again?” Kohaku asked.

Chiaki was surprised with the question. Yet he answered with smile, 

“Hahaha. That’s.. I just like helping people in need. That’s all. Amagi Rinne-san is also a fellow idol. He was injured badly so of course I couldn’t stay still.”

“How noble. I get ya. But, isn’t it also because ya were the one who caught him before he got to stand on stage? Even ya now are here with us, coming to the hospital. We aren’t friends, right? Also just if... If Rinne-han didn’t join this MDM.. If only he went back to his hometown with Niki-han… He would probably be all right now..”

Kohaku said. He was just curious about the true intention behind Chiaki’s doing. He couldn’t just accept Chiaki’s help. And he was still worried for his Rinne-han.

“I’m.. really sorry. If only I knew this would happen..,” Chiaki answered.

HiMERU jumped in the conversation.

“Oukawa. Let’s not bring it up. HiMERU thinks it’s Morisawa-san’s nature to always act when he sees people in need. And he is very helpful since the beginning. Amagi wouldn’t be saved if Morisawa-san didn’t call the ambulance in the first place. So we don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

“But,” Kohaku still tried to say something.

“No buts. HiMERU understands your worry, Oukawa. You are very helpful too. You were the one who noticed the first. You jumped in and separated Amagi from the culprit. You even held him from moving. Amagi was also saved by you. That’s noble too. Now is not the time to think about ‘what if’ scenario. Don’t you agree, Shiina?”

HiMERU ended his saying and looked at Niki.

Niki didn’t even listen to the conversation. Yet he noticed HiMERU called him.

“Ahh?! What is it? Sorry I didn’t listen..”

HiMERU could keep a calm face even though he was worried.

“Shiina, Amagi is now in good hands. HiMERU thinks he will be alright. Also, Amagi’s little brother is with him. Don’t worry too much.”

Niki let out a shy laugh and answered him,

“Hahaha.. you think so..? Actually this is the first time I saw Rinne-kun in this state.. He was fainted from hunger after I first saw him years ago, and I took him to my place. But I’ve never seen him getting injured this bad until he needed to be taken to the hospital. He doesn’t have any family other than his little brother here. I can’t help to worry.. How if he had to pay for all of the treatment? We, Crazy:B, didn’t have much money yet. I can help from my part-time job but I don’t think it will be enough..”

“So that’s why.. HiMERU gets you now. If it’s about money, Amagi got us some saving from Crazy:B’s income since the first time we performed. We can use it. We can also ask for help from our agency. HiMERU is pretty sure Saegusa-san would help us, like what he’s doing right now. About the family matter.. HiMERU is wondering then, should we find a contact related to his family? Shiratori-san, have you heard anything from Amagi’s little brother?”

Aira listened to all the conversation from the start, but he didn’t think he would be part of it. He was surprised with the question but he tried his best to answer.

“Aaah.. Hmm.. I don’t think Hiiro-kun got something like family contact info. He didn’t bring many things from his hometown. He didn’t even have a phone. He was stupid and didn’t understand a thing about this city when I first saw him. I don’t know exactly where he lived too. I just knew that it’s so far from here. I’m sorry if I can’t be any help, HiMERU-senpai..”

HiMERU said he understood and no need to feel sorry.

“ _So desu ne_. It’s alright. Amagi is also weird since the beginning. HiMERU understands. We should just ask Amagi’s little brother directly when the time's right, then. As for now let’s hope for the best for Amagi.”

After that they all went back to silence. Until a few minutes later they arrived in the hospital. All of them got inside and went to the emergency department. There they found Hiiro, sitting alone and still buried his face in his hands.

“Hiiro-kun, you alright?” Aira was the first one who got closer to him and took a seat on his right.

“ _Ototou-san_.. How is Rinne-kun?” Niki asked and took a seat on his left.

Hiiro turned his head up and saw them. He looked tired but he managed to put a smile. He didn’t think they would come here too. He thought he would be all alone.

“Eh? Aira, Shiina-san.. _senpai tachi_.. I didn’t think you all would come here.. Thank you so much for the support. I’m ok.. But Nii-san.. he, woke up on the way and we made a contact.. But then he was falling unconscious again. They said they had to perform immediate surgery for him. I.. I can’t be with him. I’m.. really worried.”

Hiiro said all of that with shaking voice. He really wanted to cry yet he used all his power to hold it and he managed.

Aira made a long face. Niki just smiled a little.

“I see. It’s alright, Hero-kun! Amagi Rinne-san, your Nii-san, is strong, right? Because he’s just like you! His little brother here is so strong! You are great. All we need to do is hoping for the best. I’m also sure they’re trying their best to save him. That’s what doctors always do.”

Chiaki tried his best to cheer Hiiro up, bent over in front of him to be the same level as his eyes. The truth was he was also worried. HiMERU and Kohaku just kept on standing and listening. After they saw Hiiro slightly cheered up and gave them a little smile, they sat on the empty seat near him.

* * *

Later, a different nurse from Hiiro first saw earlier came to them.

“Excuse me. Amagi Rinne-san’s family, isn’t it?”

“Yes!” Hiiro answered it fast.

“I'm one of nurses who will also help you. Here, I bring you his belonging. Please keep it.”

Hiiro was about to take them yet Niki helped him and offered his hands.

“Let me take care of it. We are roommates.”

Hiiro was tired so he accepted his _nii-san’s_ important friend’s help, he let Niki took it.

The nurse then smiled and gave it to Niki. It was Rinne’s pants, underwear, and all accessories. She continued her talk,

“I see Rinne-san is lucky to have his family and friends caring for him. I’m glad. Now I’d like to inform you that he is already inside the operating room. We don’t know how long the surgery will take, but it usually around 3-5 hours, depends on how complicated it is. Please be patient as well. I will now lead you to the waiting room near his operating room. Please follow me.”

They all listened and followed the nurse.

On their way the nurse talked again.

“I also have to ask some information that we need to know. Does Rinne-san have any allergy to medicine? Does he smoke? And how about alcohol consumption?”

Suddenly Crazy:B members especially Niki, looked sad and down.

Hiiro wanted to answer but he hesitated. The moment he heard the questions, the moment he also felt that he didn’t know anything about his Nii-san. He ended up didn’t say anything.

After a moment of silence, Niki initiated to answer it with honesty. He thought it’s best to tell them everything he knew and be honest for Rinne-kun’s sake.

“I.. I don’t know about the allergy, I think he doesn’t have it. He smoked but he is not a smoker. And umm yes.. unfortunately he is alcoholic.”

“Hmm.. Ok. Thank you very much for the information. It will be very useful for the doctors. So that’s why then. Despite the wound, we can see that his body is already suffering from stress. The injury is just making it worse.”

Everyone turned to her and worried.

“Oh! I’m really sorry I said it. But please rest assured. We’ve got the best surgeons and doctors here. Surely we will do everything we can to help Rinne-san. Ah! We’ve arrived. Here, you guys can wait around here. Rinne-san is inside that room.”

The nurse pointed a room and told them that. They were all slightly back at ease again.

Yet Hiiro was the one who still felt nervous. Once again he felt sad. He didn’t think his _nii-san_ had gone through so much trouble. He couldn’t hold his feelings, he asked,

“I’m sorry, I’m still worried… But how is Nii-san? Is he doing well? And the surgery, what is it like actually? I.. don’t know anything. This is the first time I come here, a hospital..”

“Ah and of course you are his little brother. Hmm he… is in and out of consciousness. They are still trying to stabilize him. It’s tough... But don’t worry. He’s fighting! Also the surgeons and doctors will do their best for the surgery to be successful. During the surgery your brother will be put into unconscious state so he won’t feel or know anything about the process. Actually it is around this time, if it runs smoothly. They have to repair some organ damage your brother currently got with the surgery. They will tell you everything when they finish. As for now this is all I can say…”

The nurse smiled and tried to explain as calm as she could to Hiiro.

All of them heard it. They couldn’t hide their worry too, they couldn’t say anything.

“.. I get it now. Thank you very much. Nii-san… Please be alright… Please help him...”

Hiiro said and just looked down on the floor after he took a seat.

The nurse gave him another smile and excused herself.

They were all seated and back to silence again. No one got anything to talk. Actually no one wanted to talk. They just hoped that Rinne’s surgery was going to be well. They also hoped that he could survive all of it. 

Rinne was indeed lucky to have them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1/9), happy paranoia! Haha.  
> Paranoia Street is out today!!  
> Wah, Crazy:B babies are having so much fun again.  
> It's always so refreshing to see their performance.  
> Enjoy them, also of course, enjoy my fic. Hehe.  
> *Disclaimer*  
> We still don't know that much about Rinne since he is one of the new characters. So about him smoking and how much he drinks are still unknown. Here, is just my own judgement. He is drinking is confirmed, though. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I'll be back. 
> 
> -Erin


	13. Saved by You, Once More

Some time had passed. It was 1 am in the morning. Hiiro, Crazy:B members except Rinne, Chiaki, Aira, and with Ibara just joined, were still waiting for Rinne’s surgery to be finished. The waiting room was spacious. It was a big, private hospital and they were currently the only ones in the area.

An hour earlier, Hiiro cleaned himself and changed his bloody clothes in the restroom. At first, he didn’t feel the need to do it because he didn’t want to leave the sight of the room where his _nii-san_ was struggling to live. But Ibara bought him a pair of new clothes and said it was alright as long as he did it fast and he would surely call him if he got some news. Hiiro then agreed and planned to do it quick as Ibara said. But at the end he did it quite long.

Hiiro took some time to laugh himself, scream, letting out the anger, anxiety, and all the frustration he felt in the restroom, thinking hard about what just happened today. He used the towel Ibara gave him to cover the noise he made. It was midnight and he was told not to make some noise in the hospital, yet he couldn’t help himself. He was sad and afraid of losing his Nii-san _._ He felt tighter around his heart. He wanted to cry yet his tears had dried. He was tired. He bit his lip and shook off the bad thoughts. He forced himself to come back to his senses. His Nii-san was still fighting the surgery, but he thought something negatively. He was upset of himself, but he decided to only keep thinking positively. Then he remembered he also needed to clean his Nii-san’s blood that still stained on his clothes. He washed it on the sink. When he saw the blood mixed with the water in the white sink, another burning feelings inside his heart came again. It was the anger he felt to the culprit who did it. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes. He opened his eyes, looked at his self in the mirror, and he cursed himself for being too carried away to shine with his _nii-san_ on stage, he couldn’t sense one worst threat coming to him.

“If I’m keep being like this, I’m still so far to be Nii-san’s shield, let alone his advisor. Nii-san.. I’m, still stupid, like everyone said. I’m.. sorry…”

Hiiro murmured while still looking at himself in the mirror. Then he heard footsteps approaching the restroom, he rushed cleaning his clothes and got out after that. When he pushed the door to get out, all of a sudden there were two middle-aged men came closer to him. Apparently, they had waited for him outside the restroom. In an instant Hiiro was flooded with questions related to Rinne.

“Amagi Hiiro-kun, little brother of Amagi Rinne, we are reporters from XX Entertainment. We’ve been waiting for you. Could you please tell us the update about your brother? How is he? Did he survive? Or he died? There are some people who want him to die. Though there are some people who want him to live. What do you think about it? Also, are you two getting along? From what we’ve seen you aren’t. Please tell us. Also, we’re recording this. Please just be honest like your usual, Amagi Hiiro-kun.”

One of them asked those questions. Turned out they were reporters who tailed him since they were on stage. His voice wasn’t loud because he knew he was in the hospital. Yet it could be heard quite well because no one around. The other one kept silent while holding a voice recorder on his hand.

Hiiro was startled. He heard it yet he couldn’t believe his ears, he didn’t know what to respond. His jaw dropped. 

“Amagi Hiiro-kun? Should I ask the questions again?” the reporter said.

Then Hiiro answered, “Uhh no. Just, wha..t, does it mean? I.. don’t understand some of it… Your questions..”

Then the reporter talked again,

“Oh so it’s true that you are dense compared to your brother, just like what some people said. I’ll repeat the questions and make them easier to understand then. Right now, we need to know whether your older brother, Amagi Rinne from Crazy:B, is dead already or is he still alive? We haven’t seen him again since he got to the ambulance. We need the update for our show. The news about him is increasing our rating so well. So please keep giving us updates. You will get more popular, you know. You need it. You are new idol, right? I hope you can be cooperative. We don’t care that much about your brother’s condition, but our audience care. There are some who said he better die because of the things he ever did to idols they love, be it just an act or not. Some other people who love him want him to survive though. What do you think about this matter? And how about your relationship with him? It seems you two are not getting along. But on the stage when he was dying, we saw you sobbing. Do you really care for him?”

Hiiro frowned and gritted his teeth. He didn’t realize he dropped the bag of his clothes he carried. He couldn’t hold his emotions anymore, he answered him when he was half-confused,

“Huh? What rating? Nii-san is better die? What do you mean?! What are you saying?! You don’t care about Nii-san’s condition, you said?! Then why are you asking about him?! I don’t get it…”

Hiiro talked not so loud even though he got angry. His now free hand moved unconsciously, about to get the older man’s collar who asked him those questions, until Chiaki who ran to him stopped him.

“Hero-kun! Don’t! No need to do that.. It’s ok.. We’ll handle them. Just go back to the waiting room,” Chiaki said, trying to restrain him.

Yet Hiiro refused to go and he was still there, saying nothing but he gave them an angry look with teary eyes.

“Yes. This is my job. You don’t have to answer them,” suddenly Ibara came after Chiaki. He stood up in front of them and talked to the reporters. He continued speaking,

“Reporter-san, I thank you for your hard work but you shouldn’t be here. Stop tailing us. I’m the representative of Cosmic Production, agency that Amagi Rinne along with Crazy:B belong to. We will hold a press conference regarding this matter. We will let you know about the time and place. So be patient and give us some questions there. But there are questions we will not answer. Of course you already know about it since I can see you are not a newbie. Don’t cross the line now. It’s no use for you to approach us here because we won’t say a thing. And Amagi Hiiro here is having a hard time already. Don’t stress him out even more. I hope for your understanding. Now please excuse us. Come on, Amagi-san.” 

Ibara led the two to move. Chiaki held Hiiro’s shoulder and they walked together. Hiiro’s face was down and he felt limp, yet he dragged his feet to go back to the waiting room with them.

The reporter didn’t give up. He tried to keep talking until Ibara cut him.

“I will call the police if you don’t stop doing this. Also, this is hospital. Don’t make a fuss here.” Ibara threatened, letting out his phone.

Seeing that, the reporter stopped. Ibara then followed Chiaki and Hiiro to go back to the waiting room, without them tailing anymore. The three walked together. Chiaki noticed Hiiro’s silence. He worried so he asked,

“Hero-kun, you alright? Don’t take it to heart, about what he said. As an idol, we will have to deal with that kind of thing… often. I know it’s not easy. But you have to keep strong. Ah! Just think about your brother! Think about the fun time you ever had with him. I think it will make you feel better,” 

“…,” Hiiro was speechless. Yet he tried his best to answer his _senpai_.

“Chiaki-senpai.. _Arigatou._ Saegusa-senpai too, _arigatou_. I uh, I’m alright. It’s not hurting me that much, it’s just, they don’t know about me and Nii-san.. I see then. I will be stronger. Hehe, actually I.. always think about Nii-san. I can’t help myself. Because I.. want Nii-san to be happy. Always.. ever since we were kids. But.. why is it? I don’t understand.. why is Nii-san hated by a lot of people? He is kind.. why must he go through this? I don’t want Nii-san to die, I don’t want Nii-san to leave me. Nii-san is always kind to me. He always kind to us, back in our hometown.. Chiaki-senpai.. Do you dislike my brother too? After all Nii-san did to Ryuseitai..”

Hiiro said and looked at Chiaki on his eyes after a few seconds of silence. 

Chiaki smiled. They arrived in the waiting room so he took a seat, followed by Hiiro, and then answered him,

“Haha, what are you saying.. Of course I don’t dislike him. But I get you. Just so you know, you are kind too. You are indeed his little brother. Listen.. Your older brother, Amagi Rinne-san, I don’t know him much yet, but I know he isn’t a bad person. I’m rooting for him too. That’s why I helped him to stand on stage again, lending him some power to not give up and disappear like he wanted. It’s just.. everyone is not the same. They don’t think of your brother like I, or you, think about your brother. They have their own perception about him. Even though some people now know about Crazy:B’s situation, it doesn’t mean everyone thinks the same. Also, some people might only know what Amagi Rinne-san wanted them to know. Your older brother is so good at it. However, there are still a lot of people who admire, like, and even love him! In fact, it’s a lot! You see them on stage, didn’t you? It’s sad and unfortunate, that your brother had to go through this. We are merely human. We will never know what will happen in the future... No matter how hard we try to conquer it… You get it? Now it’s better to just keep thinking positively, for your brother. Too much negativity can harm us. Alright?” 

Chiaki tried his best to comfort Hiiro. He slightly stroked Hiiro’s shoulder and patted him. Hiiro listened carefully to all Chiaki’s saying.

“ _Senpai.._ I.. truly thank you. I understand now. Nii-san said something like this too. People are free to think, to decide something. People have their own ‘right’ here, in the city, in the era of democracy. Alright. I’ll try my best. I.. love Nii-san after all. And he loves me too! I was confused when he said that.. But now I understand some more about it. I want to love him more properly. I thank all people who keep rooting for Nii-san, I, of course, one of those people. Please keep rooting for him too, Chiaki-senpai..”

Hiiro got lively again and said that to Chiaki.

“ _Yosh!_ That’s the spirit! Yes!! Of course! In fact, I’m rooting for both of you! Get along better after this, ok? Take care of him. Your beloved but troublesome older brother, hahaha,”

Chiaki said while slightly chuckled. He tried to keep the chill. Inside his heart, he didn’t laugh at all. He was worried for these brothers.

Hiiro nodded and smiled to reply him. After that he looked down to see the floor and lost in his thought. They seated side by side, back with everyone again. 

“..? HiMERU didn’t want to interrupt but did something happen? HiMERU heard some noise,”

HiMERU asked Chiaki and Ibara. Niki and Kohaku didn’t say anything yet they listened to the conversation. Ibara answered with Chiaki. They talked for a while. Then HiMERU was back wondering inside his head.

(Amagi.. your brother, whom HiMERU knows you tried so hard to protect, had to receive the pain in this world too. HiMERU wishes for you to keep on living. Please survive. For Crazy:B’s sake too. Little brother-san coming to the city is one of your miscalculations, and then ALKALOID, and fans who still want you. As for this incident, HiMERU still needs more info. Don’t give up, Amagi.. Ah, HiMERU is anxious. Why the surgery is so long?)

After that they were back to silence again. No one got the urge to talk. The tense was up once more.

* * *

“I’m gonna get some drink. What do you guys want?”

Ibara was the one starting a conversation after an hour passed. He got up and asked everyone. Niki asked if he could get him food instead. Himeru asked for a coffee.

Hiiro and Aira said they didn’t need anything and thanked him. 

“Saegusa-han, lemme help ya,” Kohaku offered.

Ibara and Kohaku went to the cafeteria for a while and came back with some food and drink. He gave Hiiro and Aira two cans of juice. They accepted and thanked him again.

Hiiro stared on the floor and glanced at the light on the operation room door and it was red, showing that the surgery was still on going. He did it back and forth. It was already 3 hours since they waited, yet it showed no sign to end. No one came out. No one gave him information regarding his _nii-san_ ’s current condition. Even just a simple info like “He’s alive” was enough to make him calm.

He couldn’t stop worrying. He didn’t like waiting. He was nervous. Suddenly the thought about his hometown crossed his mind. He wondered about the people there. He remembered he was responsible to get Rinne back home. Yet now he was unsure if he could ever succeed doing that. He was also worried about who would be the king, if his Nii-san could not ever come back. One thing he knew since forever, his Nii-san was the one who would take the lead of their people. His Nii-san was their hope, their future leader. Unlike him who was stupid, his Nii-san was always the clever one. The man who could do anything, and was very hardworking. Though he was aware his Nii-san had some rebellious behaviour, and seemed dislike his fate so much. But that aside, he heard from his Nii-san himself that he was always serious about it, about being the lord, taking the role of the monarch, like fate wanted him to. He smiled a little remembering that thought.

(Nii-san.. I always respect you. I was so happy when I heard you said that).

Hiiro said to himself. But suddenly he realized that he just thought something bad again. He frowned. But he just couldn’t let go of the thought, if something bad happened after this. He didn’t know what he had to do. He felt lost. He would not know what to say to their parents if he went home alone, without his older brother, and breaking his promise to the people in their hometown. He thought a few things to do though: going back home and telling them what happened, and then asked some help to chase the man who stabbed him, and killed that person.

A few minutes had passed, he shrugged the thought off. He thought something awful again and it’s not good for him. He was aware about it. He clenched his fist, almost crushed the can juice on the other hand. He pulled himself together again, he would only think positively. He believed that his beloved Nii-san would go through this because he was strong. Like whom he was always aspired to be, and just like Chiaki-senpai’s said.

Aira noticed Hiiro was lost in deep thoughts, he tried to keep him a company.

“Hiro-kun, don’t worry.. We are all here for you. Rinne-senpai will do everything to see his beloved little brother again. After all you did to him... You tried your best to save him. He must be so proud of you, you know. You’re helping him once again..”

Hiiro was happy to hear what Aira just said. His eyes glimmered. But he wasn’t sure if what he did was right.

“Aira.. Thank you. I wonder about it, though.. But I hope so too. I don’t want to lose him. Never.”

Aira smiled brighter this time. He knew Hiiro was in so much distress so he wanted to at least lessen his worry.

“Of course you did, Hiro-kun. I watched you from afar with Tenshouin-senpai and Hibiki- _senpai_. Rinne-senpai is strong. What Chiaki-senpai said was right. I think it’s cute that you two are alike. I was worried before, about you guys. But somehow after this, if Rinne-senpai survived this, I hope, from the bottom of my heart, the bond between you two will be stronger.” 

Hiiro was speechless. He didn’t know what to say because he felt overwhelmed hearing what Aira just said. He nodded and smiled so bright to Aira, and little he knew that his cheeks were red because of that. He felt lighter on his heart. The tightness he felt was lessened.

They continued waiting.

* * *

Tiredness finally got Hiiro and Niki. They both fell asleep without they realized. Hiiro’s head leaned on Aira’s shoulder, Niki to the wall. They both were just too tired they didn’t notice. HiMERU, Kohaku, and Ibara were all awake and still up because of the coffee they just took. Aira was awake to take care of Hiiro, to make sure Hiiro got the rest he needed. He was glad his Hiro-kun could be calm a little bit.

Chiaki spent some time texting with Kaoru and Kanata through the WholeHands. They chitchatted for a bit until they ended the conversation because both went to sleep already. He was relieved to hear from them that the fellow ES idols were doing alright. Though he was worried about Rei’s brother, Ritsu. He locked his phone and closed his eyes, about to lean on the wall until suddenly he heard someone talked to him.

“Morisawa-han.. I.. Sorry.. for what I said earlier,”

It was Kohaku who opened up a conversation between them.

“Oh.. Don’t think about it. It’s alright!” Chiaki answered.

“... If it wasn’t because of you bringing him back on stage… We probably wouldn’t see Rinne-han again.. for good.. And that’s even worse. I don’t want it. I have a lot of fun with Crazy:B. I, want to keep having that fun… Also there is still a lot I want to achieve with Crazy:B.. But I wonder, after this.. What will happen? Rinne-han, will he be the same like he used to? I’m actually, really worried.. thinking about it..” Kohaku let out his thought.

“Now now.. don’t be so gloomy.. He hasn’t given up. We even haven’t heard anything. I understand if you think that though, but don’t let it get to you too much. Think about the future is great. But think about what in front of us is more important. Hope for the best! Amagi Rinne-kun is not a weakling. You all know it. He even ‘beat’ me once! Ahahahaha. Anyway, we will help you. Crazy:B, the road you guys will face will be even tougher.. Help your leader back on his feet.. I know you can do it. Because you guys just did it before this. Once you ever succeed doing something, you can do it again, again, and again! Right?! And of course, you can count on me too.”

Chiaki encouraged Kohaku, heard by HiMERU and Ibara.

“That’s right. I agree. I will also lend some help, for everything Amagi Rinne will need. Crazy:B will keep doing idol activities. You guys did great on getting more popular. Cosmic Production still needs you, at least. And I will be the one who will protect you and do the talk to the higher-ups. You add more work to me though, it won’t be free. Hahaha. Pay me back later by shining bright as four again, along with Amagi Rinne. He will need some support, actually, it’s gonna be a lot. I can’t believe he tainted ES once again. This time is out of control. Everyone on the news keep asking about him. Some people even wondering about ES’s safety because Rinne is getting hurt again. I need to investigate all of this. Is this Amagi Rinne’s doing again, or what. I will find out. If you guys know anything, just spit it out, ok?! That’s also how you can pay me back. How about it?”

Ibara said while shaking his head thinking about all the trouble he would face, yet he slightly smiled at the end. He really thought about Crazy:B as precious business partner and fellow idols.

“HiMERU and Crazy:B are counting on you then. If Amagi survived this, yes we will. HiMERU is also investigating some info. However, Crazy:B owes you a lot.” HiMERU said.

“Yes. It will be troublesome and hard to deal with, Rinne-han.. But I don’t want to lose him.. I will support him, even though-” Kohaku looked on the floor, embarrassed yet he kept saying his thought until he was cut by someone’s screaming,

“No! Nii-san!”

It was Hiiro’s. He woke up so suddenly, stood up and jolted with eyes teary.

Aira was surprised since Hiiro yelled loudly near him. He could predict of what just happened. Hiiro probably had a bad dream since he fell asleep when he was mentally exhausted. 

“Hiro-kun! It’s alright.. It’s just a bad dream..”

Aira got up too to comfort him, he also rubbed his arm softly.

Hiiro looked around, then he realized that it was indeed just a dream. Everyone was looking at him. He also noticed Aira’s comforting touch. He rubbed his eyes.

“Uhh. Sorry.. Aira.. I.. fell asleep, huh? I’m glad it was just a dream.. wait, Nii-san! How is he?!”

Hiiro asked Aira and gripped his arms.

Niki had woken up because of the noise.

“Calm down.. It’s still the same like before you sleep. We’re still waiting and no one is out yet.. By the way, it hurts, Hiro-kun. Your grip..” Aira answered.

“Ah! I’m sorry again, Aira.. I never meant to hurt you. Please punish me as you want. I will accept.”

With that Hiiro let go in an instant.

“There’s no way I will do that.. With all just happened to you today. It’s alright, it’s not that hurt anyway,” Aira said.

“I see. Thank you, Aira. Nngh, I wonder when it will end.. Waiting is killing me..”

He got back to sit and looked down on the floor.

Everyone was worried even more. They didn’t say anything, they just continued to wait. It was nearly five hours since they got to the waiting room.

“Saegusa-han, continued what I was gonna say, yes as HiMERU-han said, we owe you. And by the way, I too, wonder about the safety of ES building. You got tons of work to do, just good luck. Anyhow, if anything, I will support Rinne-han. And, Hiiro-han..”

Kohaku continued talking to Ibara. After that they got back to silence.

* * *

Half an hour later, the light from the door was turned to green, and someone was out with two nurses. Finally, the surgery had finished. Everyone in the waiting room got up. Hiiro was the first who stood up.

While waiting for them approaching, Hiiro looked at the clock in the waiting room. It was 4 am, almost six hours since he first got to the hospital. It was so long, he thought, compared to the incident and him helping his _nii-san,_ which was happened so fast, less than an hour. Hiiro wanted to know about it, the process of the surgery. Whatever they did, he was sure all of it was to help his _nii-san_. Hiiro was back to give all his focus to the man who just got out from the room.

Everyone was getting ready to be greeted by that someone who was coming closer to them. He finally got to them and asked,

“Is there any family of, Amagi, Rinne-kun?” when he also looked at the board he was holding on his right hand.

Hiiro gave a reply, “ _Hai_. My name is Amagi Hiiro, Nii-san’s younger brother, Sir.”

The man smiled and continued saying,

“Oh, as expected. I heard Rinne-kun has one little brother waiting. You two look alike. Ok, Hiiro-kun then. First of all, my name is Hitoshi, I am the lead surgeon for his surgery. It has finished now, that’s why you can see me here and I’m going to explain about his condition. I apologize if it took longer than you think but we are trying our best. Rinne-kun was badly stabbed and unconscious when he was brought here. But we are aware about the wound that had been treated before he got here, and thanks to that it helped a lot to prevent further complication. If it hadn’t been applied, he probably wouldn’t make it until now. But again, thank goodness, Rinne-kun is a lucky young man. So, from all examination we could see that the wound is deep and it hit some important organs. His kidney, liver, spleen, are all damaged. It also got to his major artery. That’s why the trauma he had is major. As the result, severe blood and oxygen loss is inevitable. Since human body will turn to shock when that happens, Rinne-kun is the same. Haemorrhage shocked him and the cardiac arrest was the implication from that. Gladly, the blood and some fluid he lost have been transfused even since he was outside of the hospital, you must know about it, and even now we’re still doing it. With all being said, his body is doing its best along with his own will to live. Thanks to you and paramedics he could make it here and we can perform immediate surgery to save his life. We have done what we could, fixed all of his broken organs and repaired the broken arteries. But I apologize that sadly, right now he is still in critical condition. It seems that the cardiac arrest affected his brain. From what we know too, his alcohol intake was high so his body and mind are already on stress not only because of the wound. Ah sorry I talk too long. Please rest easy. The surgery was a success, yet we still can’t stabilize him. We couldn’t wake Rinne-kun up and until now he is unresponsive. He needs to be transferred to the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) for a while. There, we can’t let anyone seeing him other than his family. We will monitor him minutes by minutes to see his progress. I will be in charge for that.”

The doctor said all that and Hiiro looked so confused. And suddenly his legs got less power. Though he managed to keep standing. He tried to process all the information from Doctor Hitoshi’s saying but he still didn’t understand some of them. He replied,

“I.. don’t understand... all of it well, but… is _Nii-san_... alive? You saved him, right? I just want to know that…”

His eyes were about to cry, thinking about the thought of losing his _nii-san_. The doctor answered him with a smile on his face and assured him,

“Ah sorry, I should tell you about that since the beginning. Yes, we are grateful we can save him. Rinne-kun is alive, breathing, and his heart is beating. But the problem is all of that is still unstable. He passed the critical moment, but his vitals are still in critical condition. I don’t want to worry you more with all I’m saying. He just needs stable vital signs to recover. So we, along with our team, will do our very best to achieve that. Of course, we need the will from your brother, too… That’s why, we have to support him. We will also call a psychologist since it wasn’t an accident but an attempted murder, from what I heard. Your brother’s mental health after this will be our top priority too. So far that’s all that I can explain. Is there any more question?”

Hiiro felt weaker even more as he needed to support himself by holding to his knees. He felt dizzy processing all the doctor’s say. Aira shouted,

“Hiro-kun! Are you alright? Do you need a hand?”

“Hhh, fumu. Thank you, Aira. It’s ok. Just, I feel slightly lightheaded listen to all of that complex information. Even so, I’m… relieved that Nii-san is alive…” Hiiro said while still closing his eyes.

After that he gathered all energy he had and got up. He suddenly hugged the doctor and said,

“Thank you. I really thank you… for saving my Nii-san… Hitoshi-sensei.”

Doctor Hitoshi smiled and gave him back the hug and patted his head while also said,

“You’re welcome. It’s our job to do so. Also, we work in a team so it wasn’t just me. Everyone would say ‘you’re welcome’ too. Now I want to know where are your parents? They need to know about all this and there are some papers needed to be signed by them.”

Hiiro then let go his embrace and he answered with deep tone, showing some determination,

“Our parents are far but I will try to make a contact as soon as I get the chance.”

The others heard it. Ibara was relieved to see Hiiro being so reliable. He nodded and he finally said something,

“We sincerely thank you, Doctor Hitoshi. We are Amagi Rinne’s friends. As Amagi-sans here are away from their parents, we will make sure to take care of them like their family. Rinne-san is also an idol loved by many people. As the representative of the agency where he belongs, I will make sure we will cover everything he needs. If it’s ok with you, I will take a look of the papers until their parents got here. Once again I really thank you for your hard work”

Then he bowed his head as gratitude. The others followed him by doing so.

Doctor Hitoshi relieved hearing all that and replied,

“You’re welcome. I see.. But please contact them as soon as possible. Rinne-kun is an adult but even adult still needs their parents too, especially single adult. But again, I get it. We shall continue to process the documents with you then, as his temporary guardian. Oh, it’s late and I see you all look tired. It’s best to take care of yourself too so you won’t get sick. As I said before, in the ICU, only Hiiro-kun is allowed to be with Rinne-kun. I’m sorry. We still don’t know when he will wake up. All we have to do is wait. If you don’t have any question, I will excuse myself. The nurses will help you with everything you need after this.”

Everyone other than him nodded and slightly bowed their heads again in unison.

Doctor Hitoshi talked a little with the nurses and he took his leave. The nurses now approached them.

Ibara talked with one of the nurses. The rest of Crazy:B members, Hiiro, Chiaki, and Aira talked with the other nurse. Niki asked if he could take a peek to see Rinne even just a little. HiMERU and Kohaku nodded as they hoped for the same thing. The nurse smiled and said that Rinne would be transported to the ICU soon so they could see him when he was out. Niki said his thanks and smiled.

The same nurse then got close to Hiiro to prepare him as the family who would look after Rinne inside the ICU. She told him about the protocol and all, and Hiiro was just happy he could be by his brother’s side all the time. Hiiro smiled with teary, sparkly eyes.

Not long after that the door was opened again, there they saw Rinne on the bed, being pushed by another nurse along with the other physicians. He was wearing soft blue hospital gown under the blanket, with only arms could be seen and both were full of IV lines. There were cables on his chest, here and there, attached to some machines to support his life. Rinne was breathing through the oxygen mask connected to the ventilator and he looked as if he was just sleeping, but apparently he was trapped in the deep of unconsciousness. 

“Rinne-kun…”

Niki was sad to see his Rinne-kun like that. He barely could stand the sight. He suddenly recalled the memory of the lively Rinne-kun, the usual him that he saw almost every day. Now in front of him was his Rinne-kun like this, it was as if the thought of losing him was still there. But he wished it would never happen.

“Amagi, Rinne..”

HiMERU somehow remembered the moment when Rinne asked him to call him by his given name and he called him with that unconsciously. He couldn’t hide his worry, he was also sad to see Rinne like that. 

“Rinne-han!”

Kohaku shouted. He was about to get closer to Rinne until HiMERU held him back. He turned to see HiMERU and understood that he had to hold back for now. With many things and people surrounding Rinne to transport him quickly, Kohaku would be a bother. He just pouted and let out a sad look.

Hiiro was too tired crying, he just called his Nii-san out of reflex. But this time was soft, slightly unheard by people around him. When Rinne was closer to them and when it was right in front of Hiiro, he came closer to the bedside and whispered,

“Nii-san..”

No response he got from the person on the bed, of course, yet Hiiro gave his brightest, soft smile for his Nii-san. He was relieved he could see his beloved brother again. And then one of the nurses asked him to tag along. Hiiro said his ‘thanks and see you again’ to Aira and everyone after that. He followed the nurse and continued to hear the further instruction.

Everyone followed them. As they finally reached the ICU department and Rinne was far from their sight, they stopped. Later both of Amagis were away, left them alone, they got mix feelings. They were still worried but relieved at the same time. At least they knew Rinne was not alone. He got his beloved younger brother by his side, and more importantly, he was alive.

They gathered and discussed a bit, decided to leave for now and come again later after they got some rest. Aira would tell the news to his fellow ALKALOID members when he got back to the dorm. Kohaku would tell Jun-han everything when he got back, because he didn’t stop asking him about Rinne’s condition ever since they left the stage. Niki would take some rest at his apartment. But he would be back to feel lonely without the usual Rinne-kun barging in. HiMERU would also rest, a lot. Chiaki would update everything to Anzu, Eichi and Kanata, first thing in the morning after having a few hours of sleep. Though he had texted a simple message to them in WholeHands saying, “The surgery is done!! Amagi Rinne is saved. I’ll tell you the detail later”. Ibara, who was still taking care lots of document, would keep being a busy man.

So much things Ibara needed to take care of. From all Rinne’s needs, agency, media, and police officers. He smelled something not nice from this incident. He got to be back to ES first thing in the morning to meet and ask some people. Later he had to prepare a press conference to answer some questions from media. He also needed to talk to Eichi too to discuss everything he planned. And so on. He touched his head, tried to massage himself. He still couldn’t believe this year’s MDM would end up become a horror night. He thought Rinne ‘killing himself’ on the pre-MDM was enough, yet he got this too to be handled. He wouldn’t ever forget this MDM for the rest of his life. This was even worse to what had happened in SS last year, and this was closer like the Akehoshi’s incident some years ago. He was stressed thinking about it. But he was glad that he got Nagisa’s back, the other Adam’s member who would always listen to all of his frustration when he needed a company. He would update everything to him, starting from telling him that Rinne was alive. But before that, he just wanted to relax in a hot tub after a long and tiring day he had been through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I uhh, I'm back, I guess 
> 
> Ugh.. Rinne Chinese Only card, Hiiro gacha, Niki gacha (with 3 star Rinne)... were too much for me! Hahaha  
> Did you guys who pulled get your best luck? I hope you all got them. Sorry I didn't wish you luck on time, but gacha will come back so rest easy for you who didn't get the Lady Luck on your side and just try it again next time :)
> 
> Always, thank you for reading!! I hope you'll keep enjoying this, a long ride with me ^^ 
> 
> Smell ya later! *Rinne's tone*  
> hehe
> 
> -Erin


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